In the mindset of moving on and past the games of the last year, I've been assessing strategies for finding what I want and need. Considering my switchy-ness as well as broad range of interests and curiosities, it's pretty likely I'll need to get out and about to satisfy my desires.
To date I really haven't gotten involved with any of the local community events. I've taken note of them, but in my attempt not to upset the apple cart the last year (no one told me the fucking mules were dead and the apples rotting in the back...I know...I know...) I haven't pursued attendance. Currently my view is quite different, and I'm evaluating each opportunity to determine if it's a fit for what I hope to experience and find.
The one I'm looking forward to the most is Club Princeton. I have to indulge in this bit of delicious wickedness before the end of the year. And it looks as though this is going to line up perfectly with my first "Cougar Party." lol Poor Maximus... ;-)
Another direction I'm going in is the scene in Pitt, which seems to be a little more my style and more populated. There seems to be several munch groups, but I'm still unclear on the play party aspect. However my plan is early next year to start getting to know my PA neighbors in person a bit and see where things lead.
And finally...the swinging scene. I've been on the outside looking in for several weeks now. I've talked to some people. Some...not cool. A bit too cold and pushy for my taste. However, some...very, very warm people. In fact I've been invited as a guest to a play party on Saturday. I could go and just see what's to see, watch how things work. I could go and just play with the very nice couple that invited me. Or I could indulge in my first orgy and let others physically overwhelm me in sensation. For a moment turn off the mental and emotional and simply let others take.
I'm torn.
Part of me wants to erase him as he's so easily erased me - to physically erase the value of what I gave away to someone I loved but who lied and played games in order to steal what he didn't deserve. He doesn't deserve the honor he was given. I wish I could somehow take it fucking back.
The other part of me wants to wait and share a swinging party-fest with a true friend, lover and partner who would ground me. I want a Dom/Master/Daddy by my side whose shared experience would amplify mine and whose loving arms would hold me after it was all over and keep me warm through the night.
So...am I a true slut? Or an idealist kinky fool? lol
Ahhhhh...yes, the fool again. I'll sit on the sidelines and honor who and what I am. I know what I want and what I deserve. I've already taken the necessary steps not to settle for crumbs, leftovers, and scraps from a man I genuinely loved. I won't backtrack on myself now. I'll continue on this road and be true to me.
There's plenty of other opportunities I have to explore...I will meet the very warm couple this weekend, and possibly soon I'll meet the potential male submissive I've been considering for the last month or so to determine if play time with him could satisfy some of my Domme's restlessness. ;-)
All that should keep me plenty busy for a minute. lol
~Kat
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