Lesson: I Don't Have to Trust Myself

I fucked up. Ruined it. Took the fun out of the heaviest Dominance I've felt in a long time. ~sigh~ I cried when I finally understood what I'd done. I wanted to hit undo, rewind, control+z, but it was too late.

I crave His Dominance, darkness, His firm hand like nothing else. When he puts me in my place and the leash is tight around my throat, I feel safe, secure, wanted, valued, cherished...loved. ~sigh~

I'd been a brat, and He responded swiftly and firmly.  Those submissive feelings rose to the surface like they always do for him, leaving me damp and trembling.  I fell asleep aching to be beat. The next morning, a complete different situation, He...oh god...He twisted me up in knots with His heavy hand.

His woman bowed to Him and became...jumpy.  (lol I can't quite explain that one.)
His dog whimpered and longed to beg on all fours.
His pet flushed in submission at His reprimands.
His hole wept for abuse and brutality.
His sub shook with need, shame, desire, humiliation.
His Alfred was completely off balance, shocked, and confused.
His fiery lioness crouched in sweet pride and appreciation for Her strong, vicious mate and wished they could tumble. She wanted to push back and defy and test the incredibly sexy and erotic darkness He wielded with such ease.
And his masochistic bitch...she...she craved such a depth of an unrestrained violence and rage and madness that even she was stunned.  Never before have I ever felt such a freedom and trust to desire the darkest most wicked of experiences.  My heart races just thinking of the thoughts I held in my mind two days ago.  I craved an utter destruction that would have lasted days, that would have stripped me down to my DNA, and left me has helpless and as fragile as a newborn kitten.

I walked away from that experience dizzy, off balance, and in a heavy fog.  I couldn't do anything but lay down for an hour and try to gather my wits.

But...I was also confused which was compounded later with another round of sweet darkness. Despite how much I enjoyed His Dominance, my obedient nature drove me to figure out what I where exactly I was making wrong turns and choking on His leash.  And yes...I mean drove. Like an unstoppable fucking tank.

I didn't want to frustrate or anger my Owner by repeating my error in topping from the bottom. I do my best to be a good obedient submissive and avoid mistakes. ~sigh~

When I first asked...M told me to trust him.  I do. Absolutely. And I almost...almost...started to get it then.  But still that tank still drove forward...I let it.  I wrecked in a big fiery mess.  All because I didn't trust myself.

What never occurred to me...not until M painted it out in big giant flashing letters for his stupid naive pet was that I DON'T have to trust myself.  ALL I have to do is trust Him.

Duh. "/

GINORMOUS epiphany: It's OKAY if I don't know what I'm doing...if I don't know how to move forward...if I'm unsure how to respond...if I don't know what's happening in me... M's got me.

~sigh~ I'm a little slow sometimes, and it's taken me a day and a half to recover emotionally and mentally from the anger at myself for ruining our fun.  But I think I've learned the lesson...I don't have to always walk steadily and gracefully on M's leash...sometimes the sweetest joy is when He makes me dance and stumble and dance some more on His leash and when I have to completely rely on the fact that His strong determined grip will NEVER let go of His pet.

Maybe...maybe someday He'll make me dance again on His leash. I promise Him and myself to just enjoy the dark beautiful struggle and chaos as He gives me the torment I so desperately crave.
~DominaKat

I Love to Suffer for Him

~sigh~ To suffer for Him fulfills my soul.  It gets me the fuck off.  No matter how slight or harsh I bask in His dark torment.  I can't help it...I crave to comply with His most twisted desires.

I'm suffering right this very fucking minute. That slight discomfort sucks at my clit and licks at my sloppy greedy hole.  I want so much to spread my legs and be His slutty fucking dog.  To pant and beg for Him to ruthlessly shove a treat in His cunt. His fucking beautiful hard cruel dick.  His tight vicious fist.  His merciless boot.  His sadistic crop.  His brutal bat.  I don't care what the fuck He gives me.  I'll take it.  Because I'm in heat for Him.  I'm a greedy, nasty whore, and the more I suffer and am pushed below Him the more I thrive under His Darkness.

The things I want right now...~sigh~  

Stripped naked.

Beaten and bruised.

Breasts heaving.

Covered in His hot rain.

His holes filled and gushing with His hot rain.

Barking as He rapes my tight ass.

Used and toyed with like a tormented pet.

Suffer.

Suffer.

Suffer for Him.

Yes...yes...yes...please.

~DominaKat

Crush Me

Crush me.

Beneath your boot.

Your precious flower.

Broken by You.

Your mind.

Your hands.

Destroy my beauty.

Crush me.

Make me bleed.

Let bruises bloom.

i will beg.

To be at Your mercy.

Hurt me.

Let Your sweet pain.

Crush me.

So i surrender everything.

The dark fire of You

Will consume my soul.

Crush me.

Crush Your obedient pet.

Crush me.

Crush what You control.

Crush me.

Crush all that is Yours.

Dismantle my pride.

Until i am humble.

Leashed and Owned.

Crush me.

Until i am nothing.

But what you allow me to be.

Your power and Dominance.

Are my air to breathe.

You are my world.

i seek your violence and wrath.

Crush me.

i submit to Your will.

Only through You

Can i find peace.

Tear apart Your petals.

To make me whole.

Only You can.

Crush me.

Yes, M. Crush me.

It is my only destiny.

~DominaKat

Confession

There are days when the need to be a nasty, filthy slut is damn near all consuming.  I'm not talking mild slut.  I'm talking squirting down my thighs in public slut.  Cum-covered lips on the subway kind of slut.  Raising my dress and humping a fire-hyrdrant with my fat whorish tits hang out slut.  The kind of slut that leaves M grinning darkly tugging on my leash as old ladies cross their chest and men adjust their thickening cocks.

Yes...that's me this morning.  With the overwhelming need to spread my legs and be used in the most filthy vile ways.  Pain.  Pleasure.  ~sigh~ It makes no fucking difference.  My single point of existence in these moments is to be M's Black owned three-holed piece of thick white meat, to cum in groaning bliss, to harden a dick and make it throb with a need to conquer. 

I'm no saint.  lol  No.  Not at all.  Look elsewhere for that kind of sweet purity.  I'm sure that would be a delight to corrupt, but that's not me.  I'm well down the trail to hell.

No.

I. 

Am. 

A fucking wretched, sinning, crawling gutterslut who seeks complete subjugation and humiliation.

I need broken down and shattered with His mind.

I need to dance in frenzied madness by His hands.

I am a fuck-craving whore that needs beat and used until I'm a crumpled stained mess on the floor reeking of lust and destruction.  Even then I'd still spread my legs for more, just like a dog seeking a belly rub.  I beg for my holes to be affectionately and violently violated.  I pant for M.  I whimper.  I'll even bark if that will please Him.

But the day begins, and so I politely close my legs, wipe my mind clean of my pathetic salacious thoughts, and straighten my clothes to be respectable.  Smile pretty.  Be good.  Pretend I didn't start my day with my hand between my legs playing in His wet sloppy hole and thrashing on the bed.  

Ohhhh...look isn't that cute.  Puppy and kitten posts.  Uplifting quotes of the day.  Lovely. 

I return to the realities, tragedies, and games of my vanilla existence.

Smile...just smile...and fight the urge to squat on the ground to cum like a dog.

~DominaKat

Purging Misbehavior

That filthy animal.  That rebellious bitch.  Oh yeah...all those nasty, immoral, depraved urges have swallowed me whole.  I don't want to be a good girl.  I don't want to be dutiful and efficient alfred.  I don't want to be fucking obedient.  Fuck all of that.  I don't give a fuck about that polite sweetness right now.

Fucking make me.

The willful, twisted, selfish whore rises from her cave with a vengeance.  My beast rages for the pure sanctity of violence and use.  I don't feel like making it easy.  I don't feel like holding back.  I will swing and fight and scream.  You'll have to take every bit of me.  I'll give nothing.  I need the demand and force of destruction.  I need that kind of ugly, brutal, cruel, bloody fight.  Leave me black and blue.  I need sheer mother fucking madness.  I want to see that loss of control in His eyes.  I need to see that dark fire so bright it's unholy what He will do to me.  Yes...baptize me in all those unholy desires You keep silently housed in the back of your mind.  Show me how evil Your beast can be.

I am nothing.  I am everything.  My beast is the most vicious bitch He will ever fucking conquer.  I won't give quarter until I'm covered in cum, spit, piss, and sweat.  Oh yeah...feel free to try to make me choke on that hard Black dick pushing down my throat until puke coats my heaving fat white tits. I don't want control.  I don't want patience.  I don't want nurturing.  I don't want Your fucking approval.  I don't want any reassurances.  In fact, just leave all the shit that those soft sides always crave at the fucking door.  Whatever.  I don't really give a fuck right now.  All I want is to wallow in the filthiest of acts.

I need used.

Like a two-dollar whore on a Saturday night behind a dumpster of a bar in South Bronx.  For hours.  Days.  I want to be fucked so hard in every hole until I scream.  I'll spread my creamy thick thighs for His dick, His fist, His face, His bat, His fucking beer bottle.  Just fill my sloppy hot cunt until I scream, laugh, and am drenched in the tears of the damned.  Take it.  OWN it.  Make me your nastiest, most corrupt bitch. Sin. Sin. Sin. Sin. Sin.  I don't care who sees, who knows, who smells my slutty perverse stench.  I want to reek of Him and His use.

I need to be naked in the dirt and mounted like a wild animal.  I need to be caged.  I need to be beaten.  I need raped and molested and violated.  I need to be made to cry, beg, even bark as He shoves Himself deep into my tender ass and rides me again and again as His cumdump.  I want to take a fist in the ass and then be forced to... fuck...I don't care.  Just force me.  Make me.  I want to be wanted that god damned much.  That darkly.  Where there is no reason, simply "I MUST have ALL of her."  Do it.  Demand the darkest, deepest, most demented desires that will devour my soul.

Set my fucking monster free.  Unleash the whore I've keep buried and tamed and silent.  Break that part of me that hides deep in the shadows of my soul and quench the fire that consumes me.

My God, I need M.  I need His Beast to cure my insanity.  To take the pressure of at least some small of the eruption of darkness currently flooding my soul.  It is crashing over me with a force I'm not sure I've felt ever.  ~sigh~ The darkest part of me has broken free, and I'm not sure how well, I'll be able to stuff that beast back in her cave.
~DominaKat

Primal Bitch

Do you ever feel like you're walking in two worlds at once? A polite smile on your face or diligently going about work while at the same time the other dark barely rational side of your brain is racing through an onslaught of needs and cravings that makes most porn seem like a fucking Disney flick? Yeah...that's been me most of today.

Under my calm exterior, my dark wicked primal beast is pacing her cage like a bitch in heat.  I am craving pure cruel sin like a rabid wild animal. Primal nasty sexual lust is building behind my internal "be calm" dam, when really all I want to do is to pull off my clothes, crouch down, spread my thick thighs and piss in the god damn snow for him then shove four fingers up M's cunt and growl with unrestrained need as he pisses all over me.  Yeah...this lust is raw and uncensored and fucking twisted.  I don't want pretty. I crave that dark dark vicious place that lives in the shadows between M and I. 

I need beat.  Not a tame beating. I want punched, kicked, smacked around like a rag doll until I'm bruised and bleeding. I crave dark sexual humiliation and violence. To be forced to hump His beautiful fucking boots then made to lick them up like its my last meal. I want to lay spread eagle and feel the hard unforgiving tread of those fucking boots on my sloppy wet slit and ride that harsh surface until I squirt like a porn star. I need raped with that bat M has hanging in the closet for me. I need dragged around by hair and bound to suffer simply for M's twisted sick pleasure. 

I need to be His slut and whore. His fuck doll. His toy. His plaything. His fucking victim. 

I don't care who sees. I don't give a fuck who knows. The only thing I crave is being brutal put unquestionably in my fucking place. 

But all that just silently and politely stews in the back of my mind as I calmly make dinner. Anyone hungry? lol ;-)

~DominaKat

Why I Suffer for Him

A fellow blogger over at A Kind Dom recently posted a few discussions about masochism and its relationship to submission.  Intrigued with the thoughtful discussion, I dove in.  But of course that didn't sate my need for words...

Why do I submit to M's sweet suffering?

I obey.
I am driven to sate His dark hunger deeply and richly.
I have an inherent need to serve and please, M.
I want to demonstrate actively how willing I am to submit to Him.
I love to suffer for Him, so He may drink my pain, fear, and tears.
I love Him.
I enjoy the challenge He rains down on me.
His darkness makes me so wet I leave puddles and so hungry I tremble.
He pushes and tests my limits with His darkness.  Every time it's a little bit more, a little harder, a little darker.
That fucking incredible endorphin rush.
So that I can hear the dark rumble of His growl.
The delightful suffering of it all rips me open mentally and emotionally to my Owner.
It tears down the day-in-day-out me and brings me to that primal fundamental animal that is raw and vulnerable and vibrantly exposed to Him so that He can engage with the essence of me.
His pain strips me down bit by bit to free my wild beast to run on His tight leash.
It brings us closer together than I've ever felt to any person in my life.
It allows us both to feel the full weight of our power exchange and bask in its glory.
It reinforces our trust, faith, and our bond.

There are hundreds of reasons.  Some blatant.  Some subtle.  Some unselfish.  Some extremely selfish.  And everything in between.  But in the end, there is really only one answer that truly articulates it all.

I am His.

Pure and simple.  If that were not fact, truth, reality, I could not share myself in such intimate acts.  For me, masochism isn't simply physical.  It is an emotional, mental, and physical state of total vulnerability.  I am not a pain slut just in need of the stimulus.  It's the D/s and S&m connection that thrives between us that sparks my need for His Dominance and Pain.  I am His pet who suffers willingly and gratefully for Him and for Him alone.
~DominaKat

To Feed from My Owner's Hand

I followed His lead.  With no questions, I simply obeyed.  On my knees, face pressed to the sheets still warm from our lazy morning in each other's arms, I waited.  I would accept and give whatever He chose to deliver and take.

In silence He whipped His pet under the last of the morning's quiet rays.  His crop's stinging licks fell like rain over my ass cheeks.  Hot splashes of pain made me whimper and lurch away.  Yet, every time - every fucking time - I rose my ass high in the air again to Him, a physical plea for more and an undeniable show of trust and submission.  I would not shy away from His gift of Dominance and Darkness.  I would take anything He offered.  A scrap or a feast, I feed only from my Owner's hand.

I longed to suffer for Him, to fill His Soul with my sacrifice.  I knelt at His mercy and took each strike until He pulled that sweet masochistic high from my bones and I flew for Him.  In primal lust entwined with delightful pain, M allowed us a moment of freedom to feast on our sweet darkness.

I don't know that I ever find the right words to express the sheer power M has over me or the depth at which He touches me.  I handle it much better than I use to, but still...in moments like this I am still stunned at how completely I am at His mercy emotionally, mentally, and physically.  Time stops when I am with Him.  I know and see nothing but Him.

In truth, I am my Own force to be reckoned with.  I sit at corporate tables and hold my own with ease.  I drive decisions.  I provide insights.  I make shit happen.  I am Lioness who stalks professional goals like prey with delight and precision.  Yet, I am soft and helpless for M in a way no one has seen nor would believe.  I tremble for His slightest touch.  I ferociously protect and guard.  I play with unabashed joy and silliness.  

Quite simply, I find my Home and Harmony in that Man's strong, steady arms.

I wasn't ready to leave when we said goodbye a dozen hours later.  I still had not come down from my submissive high, and the separation wore at me like gravel against my soul.  Yet, even if we'd had time for us both to come completely back down, I wouldn't have wanted to leave.  I never want to leave His side.  

Soon.  I need Home.

~DominaKat

Penance and Absolution

I wasn't...right.

I could feel the offness of me.
An undeniable call toward an unfamiliar desire.

I couldn't sleep.
My sex cold.
Yet hot skin vibrated.

Need coursed.
Through trembling veins.
Sprung of an aching soul.

There...a tug at that door I kept closed.
Fuck...understanding bloomed.
And knocked me to my knees in shame.
I craved merciless and overwhelming wrath.

My frantic mind longed.
For the silent serenity of my echoing screams.
My tender heart begged
For the sweet bliss of violent cruelty.

I needed to hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt HURT.
Harsh slaps, hair wrenching, groping grabs, and punishing shoves.
I was desperate to wallow helplessly bound in the darkest of darkness.
Where I truly abandoned all control, reason, and sanity.
And gave in to...You.

I wanted to be destroyed at Your fists.
Broken and shattered at Your feet.
A tear stained, bruised mass.
Mindless in the purity of fear and pain.

I hungered for Your most sadistic punishment.
So I could surrender my pain, sorrow, and fear.
To Your ultimate Domination.
I sought to sate You with the deepest of sacrifices.

To sob beg cringe moan bruise plead and bleed for You.
To make amends and offer willing humiliation and agony.
I would have gratefully welcomed Your vicious torment.

I was lost in the haze.
Held hostage that night by my need.
For my submission to be ripped from my soul.

I needed You, M.
Your Beast without restraint.

My penance.
Your absolution.

That's all I craved.
~DominaKat

That Fundamental Fucking Need

I want to be fucked ruthlessly with a harsh, brutal Dominance wrapped in pain and violence that leaves me no fucking question as to who and what I am in your life.  That leaves no doubt to me or any other god damn soul about the passion and lust which burns like an inferno in you for me.

No.  I don't just want.  I need that.  Like the air I fucking breathe.  I need to be beaten, tired up, controlled, and used like a $2 fucking whore, a gutterslut that will fuck, suck, take whatthefuckever sadist nastiness you can conjure.  Make me beg, cry, and squirt cum until the air reeks of my whorish lust.  The holes between my thighs are made to be taken and filled.  Your long fingers plunging and hard demanding BLACK dick is what they fucking scream for with an unending relentlessness that echos continually through my soul.  RIP into my hot, wet sloppy meat and TAKE.

There lives a submissive starving beast in me that is caged and damn near rabid from being denied, put away, and ignored my whole fucking life.  This isn't about love.  This isn't about poetry.  This isn't about fucking hope or joy or light.  It's about fucking raw primal freedom to drip in the razor's edge of darkness and madness with a equally dark Beast that wants nothing more than to fucking feast on the forsaken corrupt soul of the insatiable nasty fucking whore that I am. It is my base-calling and desire to be Owned with a collar and leash to guide and control my descent into that violent vicious pit of hedonistic sin.  This is about a necessity so motherfucking fundamental to my existence that it is my lifeblood.  Without it...I am half crazed and barely fucking alive.  My beast howls to be mounted by a monster strong enough to tame and conquer my sick, twisted lust.

My heaving fat utters to suck, punch, grope, and bind.  Quivering, wide-open, shameless thighs beg to be stained with piss and punishment.  My starving slut mouth craves dickmeat on her tongue and down her greedy throat.  My eager cunt hungers to suck down an angry dick, a punishing fist, or the cold filthy girth of a fucking bat with equal abandon.  My puckered tight asshole eagerly hungers to be impaled with no mercy and filled with hot sticky nut.

I was meant to be a slave to a Man's sadistic lust.  I was born to milk a Man dry until He is unequivocally sated beyond measure.  The inner beast that stalks my soul and roars for freedom exists solely to be YOUR BEAST'S fucking plaything and endless victim.

Hunt me.
Prey on me.
Use me.
Devour me.
Claim me.
Destroy me.
Tame me as only You can.
~DominaKat

Business as Usual - Part 1

The corporate executive.  Calm, cool, and focused.  My mind hummed as I played with the puzzles of business and laid out tomorrow's presentation to the client's board of directors.  "We'll maximize the return on the investment.  It's an integrated plan to leverage our assets and resources."  Experience left me confident and in control as I spent the day directing my teams, wooing potential clients, and coordinating projects.  No hint surfaced of the dark personal life I led outside of the office.  My co-workers, clients, and staff saw only the strong, competent, yet oddly unique woman who was polite, determined, and calmly efficient - in charge of her projects and team.

When my day was over and the last calls made, I left that world behind.  And I returned to Him.

The crisp, professional business woman I am during the day came through the door with her briefcase and files, wrapping up the last of my calls.  He was already there.  I sighed silently always relieved to feel His presence close.   He looked up from the mail, and His gaze dragged over me from head to toe.  A pressed, fitted, button-down grey blouse toned down my heavy tits and hid ring-pierced fat nipples.  A conservative straight skirt semi-masked a fat ass and thick thighs.  Nude nylons played down my long legs.  Traditional black unadorned pumps purposely mislead the casual observer.  Though M was never a casual observer when it came to me.  He placed the mail on the counter and walked toward me as I rattled off further instructions for tomorrow's project meeting.

I smiled warmly in greeting and patiently answered my young assistant's question.  His gaze met mine.  I watched as He searched my face for something.  His hand grazed my jaw, and a tickle of warmth bloomed under my skin in the wake of His touch.  I stumbled a tad and refocused, trying to finish my thought.  Without warning, His hand firmly squeezed my throat cutting off my words.  My eyes snapped to His.  There I found His darkness brewing in Him.  Slowly He stepped me backwards to the door, I'd just closed.  My assistant's voice buzzed between us.  "Are you there?  Did I loose you?  Damn elevators... Hello?"  M reached up and took the phone from my hand, pressing "End" and powering down without a care.

"You're mine now."  He looked into my eyes.  "Understood?"  I nodded, unable to speak as I gasped for air.  "Very good."  His grip relented, and I frantically sucked in much needed oxygen.  "You had a productive day?"

I took one more cleansing breath and began to shift my weight from the door, "Yes, tomorrow's meet...." A harsh slap met my cheek.

"I said, 'You're mine now, pet."  His hand brushed my cheek and eased the sting before dropping again to His side.  "I didn't say move," he calmly explained. "And I've decided right now I could care less about your office or your meeting.  You've been planning for months and you said last night everything was ready, correct?"  I nodded.  "Good," he continued with a darkening glaze, "Now I want to play with my fucking dog."  I whimpered and closed my eyes as heat snaked rapidly through my veins.  With a dark whisper, he began my controlled descent toward the darkness we both coveted.  "Raise your arms above your head, pet."

I obeyed.  The cool, calm business woman dismissed without question from my mind.  His gaze raked over my body in assessment.  "Lush bitch.  They don't even have a clue what a slut you are for me, do they?"

"No, Sir," I breathed.

His hands seized hold of my tingling breasts.  I gasped and arched into His touch.  "And such a fucking eager slut."  His fingertips ground into the soft mounds.  I moaned, so grateful to feel His demanding touch.  He released them and with a tug tore my blouse apart.  Buttons shattered at His will.  I groaned uncaring.  I loved His greed for me.  His fingers pinched the center snap of my bra and suddenly my tits were blessedly free.  The cool air teased them.  I whimpered at the sudden transition.  My nipples beaded instantly in need, begging for Him.  "Mmmmm...the lush curves of my fucktoy." Patiently He slapped at the undersides of each breast causing them to bounce for His entertainment. Again and again.  Each assault harsher than the last.  I tried to remain still, but soon I began to jump then whither with the raps of His knuckles.  I could feel the juices begin to slip through the folds of my cunt.   Soon my breasts were flushed, and I was panting.

"Do I have your complete attention now?"  I nodded quickly.  "Good"  With His thumbs and forefingers His attention focused on my plump nipples and their rings.  I moaned quietly, conscious of the door behind me.  He pressed Himself into me letting me feel His thickening dick.  My womb responded instinctively seeking completion.  Gentle kisses trailed across my cheek and neck leaving me so sweetly unbalanced following the pain of moments ago.  

I whimpered, "M..." A slap to the bulging flesh of one breast as he continued to drag His lips across my skin.

"Shut the fuck up, pet," He whispered between more tender little kisses.  I whimpered at the delicious dominance, and tears threatened at the razor sharp contrasts of light and dark that He intentionally laid over me.  My fists clenched above my head overriding my inherent urge to wrap my arms around Him.  His hands stroked the outside of my thighs.  He began to gather my skirt.  Inch by inch he raised the hem.  Once the full length was in His fists He pushed the conservative black material to my waist.  I flushed in embarrassment at the boring nude pantyhose covering my body.  "There now," He cooed to His pet.  "Spread those sweet thighs, you thick whore."

I shuffled my feet and dutifully opened my thighs.  I bowed my head and closed my eyes feeling ashamed to be caught in such boring underthings that were never meant to seduce my Owner like I should.  "You'd be the perfect little corporate executive if you'd been wearing panties," His fingers teased the dampening seam of my pantyhose.  "Hmmmm...such a nice juicy piece of meat,"  He hummed as He kissed my ear.   "All day, just begging to be fucked and beat beneath that proper skirt and blouse, weren't you?"

I whimpered softly, acknowledging the truth between us.  "Yes, Sir."

"I can smell your lust, pet. How badly you ache for me."  Another dark hum sent shivers down my spine.  "It makes me fucking hungry."

My hips began to instinctively grind against His torturous teasing.  Ever His whore, I sought more.  He laughed at my obvious need.  "Such a horny little dog, aren't you?"  He rewarded my behavior with a violent slap between my legs that damn near made me cum without permission.  I bit my lip as tears leaked from my closed lids.  "Don't fucking move, bitch."  I raised my heavy lids as I felt Him step away.  I sucked in a jagged breath and tried not to succumb to the trembling that threatened my body.  I watched as M moved so calmly across the entry way and through the kitchen to the counter.  He turned back at me and smiled wickedly before pulling one of the sharp knives from the butcher block.

"Fuck..." I whispered in awe and some small trickle of fear.

His thumb caressed the blade as He calmly returned to me.  I watched transfixed.  No words could even form in my mind.  His empty hand took a hold of my jaw, and His confident intense gaze met my helpless stare.  "Don't move, pet.  Understood?"

"Yes, Sir." I breathed.

I felt the cool flat edge of the knife lay gently against my cheek.  Slowly He drew the blade down my neck and across my breasts.  His eyes never leaving His point of contact.  I tried not to breathe.  Down my abdomen I could feel the steel press against my skin threatening to leave a cut in its wake.  When the metal met the waistband of my pantyhose, M pulled it away.  "Very good girl.  Such an obedient dog."  I dragged in a desperate gulp of air just as He released my jaw to grasp at snug waistband of my pantyhose.  "Keep your back against the door, bitch."  He pulled the satiny material away from my skin, and I heard the knife slice through the material just above my mound.  My pussy trembled and a flood of dampness filled His cunt hole.  I could feel the blade moving closer and closer to my throbbing clit and heavy folds as the material gave way.

M knelt in front of spread thighs.  Carefully His slid the knife to rip the taut fabric and expose His meat.  I felt cool metal slip through my folds.  "Sir!" I whimpered feeling the impending explosion.  "Sir...please?!?  Oh god, M?!?"

He rose and assessed His work, ignoring my pleas.  I panted.  My body shook.  My thighs visibly trembled.  "You liked the knife. Didn't you, pet?"  I couldn't answer.  Tears simply fell  as I tried to grasp at my slipping control.  "I love seeing my property on fucking display."  I watched Him cooly observe my frantic need before His empty hand reached out to pull back my skin and expose my angry, needy clit.  His sadistic dark stare told me how dark He felt and that my Beast was raging.  "You want to cum, bitch?"

"Yes...PLEASE, SIR!!!"

When I felt the blade tickle my clit, I choked back my scream of raw need.  "Cum, my nasty little dog."  On command, my orgasm burst from me like a dam.  Juice splattered to the tile floor and across M's shoes.  Wave after wave ripped through me as I tried desperately not to move.  Suddenly He was pressed against my side, His face eye to eye with mine.  I no longer felt hard steel but His fingers as they tore through my folds and dug into His hot, sopping, pulsing hole.  "Again, bitch!" He growled.  He pounded into me forcing another violent messy orgasmic gush and another.  My hips rode His hand.  I growled.  I whimpered.  I gasped.  My ass banged against the door.  I didn't fucking care who heard.  I didn't care about a fucking thing.  I simply fucked my Owner's hand like a good dog and came like the bitch in heat I was.
~DominaKat

Dark Souls

How Dark,
Might we indulge?

Not become.
For Dark is what we are.

Tears and laughter.
Our symphony on the wind.

Will You stalk my blackest shadows?
And toy with my twisted fantasies.
As I beg.
Cling humbly to You.
Broken and battered at your feet.

Will You drag me into Your inky sin?
And taste my salty tears.
As You destroy what you love.
And feed our primal and brutal hungers.
Even the darkest not spoken.

Seize without mercy Your cherished victim.
Meld our passion to make us whole.
And set free our twisted souls.

Will You fuck me to destruction?
And devour my screams.
Bound, gagged, and helpless.
Manipulated.
By Your vicious need.

Will You crush me beneath Your will?
Will You unleash Your greedy fury?
Will You lead me where the light does not fucking reach?
Please...Sir...
Let us gorge on our brutal lust.

Cruelest pain transformed to undeniable pleasure.
As sadism licks and lashes.

A matched pair in dark harmony.
Pure within our sweet vicious madness.

Yes…just how Dark,
Might we indulge?
~DominaKat

Beaten

Fuck.  He'd never so thoroughly destroyed me.  

When He clasped the back of my neck, I almost dropped everything in my hands.  Lust swam through my viens and made me dizzy with need.  His orders were simple and to the point.

Stripped.  Naked.  Obedient.  My hands against the wall.  My ass arched to receive.  He harshly grabbed and kneaded my heavy breasts.  He pinched my nipples until I whimpered at the hot pain that lanced my mind.  He would not be gentle tonight.  He would not be easy.  I didn't want either.  I needed His darkness.

My legs spread.  My cunt beginning to drip.  He raked His long fingers through my heavy folds and plunged into His fuckhole.  His.  Completely fucking His.  I no longer could find the pleasure I once knew in myself.  My cunt was His property and responded only to Him.  As His fingers dug inside me my body responded to its Owner's demand.  Slick wet heat that I could no longer inspire when I touched myself flowed effortlessly for Him.  It lubricated my hole and coated His probing fingers.  He forced me to my first orgasm.  Demanded it.  My body gave.

I wonder how he felt knowing only He could inspire such lust and need?  Did it please Him how well fucking trained I was?  Did my body's instinctual response sate some dark primitive need in His soul?

With my first minor orgasm out of the way, He moved on to the main course.  I didn't know what He had planned.  I never do.  I simply hold on and follow His lead.  That night, He unleashed on me a blessed torrent of sweet dark pain that seemed endless.  He gave me no mercy and intentionally drove me with a relentlessness I wasn't expecting.  I don't remember the order He used His tools.  I don't remember how long.  I simply endured the beautiful misery that only a sadist and masochist can understand.

He beat me.  My ass.  My thighs.  My back.  Again and again.  The flogger licked my skin in hot vicious bites.  That fucking spatula broke across my body in a burst of fire.  His belt wailed across me.  His firm hand pounded at me.  I held still obediently.  I naughtily shied away from some of the pain.  I was a greedy pet and arched higher, again and again begging with my fat ass for more of His dark cruelty.  I was a damn mess bouncing between controlled submission and unrestrained fear and need of more.  I didn't know from one moment to the next what was coming or how I would respond.  I surrendered to the feeling of being wanted.  I gave in to our darkness.

How did it feel to unleash on me?  What did He think as His pet whimpered and cried out?  What did He feel as He watched me jump away from the pain and then helplessly seek out more?  What must He feel to know how fucking much I needed Him?

And I came.  I don't remember when or how often.  He drove into me intermittently and crudely forced His meat to take His entry.  All I do clearly remember is the repetitive sound of my gushing releases pouring onto the floor and pooling between my spread feet.  At times simply the overwhelming pleasure of pain pushed me over the edge.  Other times it was the intimacy and pressure of Him in my hole where I could not in any way hide my desire.  My thighs were splashed with my juice as I bent my knees and ground out my hot lust like a dog.  The streams of cum seemed endless.  I vaguely remember His dark satisfaction that I came for Him like a fucking slut.  I was humiliated to be so transparent.  I also didn't give a fuck.  I just wanted more.  More.  More.

Of Him.  Of This.  Of Us.

He gave.  The pain.  The pleasure.  I took.  I would have stood there forever and devoured ever drop of darkness He fed me.  He knew before I did where He was taking me.  Closer and closer He moved toward me even as He continued to torment me.  He was at my side.  The beating became more intimate.  Soon He was holding me up as He wrung the last cries of sweet pain from His exhausted pet.  I shook viciously.  The sheer relief in my soul broke me, and I clung to Him as tears streamed down my face.

Did He understand how much I loved and trusted Him?  Did He see how very vulnerable and helpless I am to Him?  Did He know that only He sates my mind, body, and soul?

All that happened after...I can not bring myself to share.  Those moments are too intimate, too sweet, too private.  He did things no one had ever done or even thought to do.  The tenderness and loving care He gave me that night will forever be a part of my soul that I will never relinquish.

Every moment I share with M, he ruins me further.  Our light.  Our dark.  Those beautiful strands surround and protect us.  They bind us together, and together we find our harmony.
~DominaKat

I am a Whore.

Yes.  That's right.  I am a whore.  A monogamous whore but a whore nonetheless.  For my Man, my Daddy, my Owner I will and have performed, received, and contemplated sexual acts that most in the world would consider sinful or downright sick and twisted.  Instead I've gloried in their delightful humiliation and unique masochistic reward.

I can't even claim to be a classy whore.  No.  The classy woman disappears completely when He frees my inner insatiable beast.  That wild, untamed-but-for-Him monster is an animalistic gutterslut that opens her mouth and spreads her legs with eager, wanton abandon.

Fuck me.  Use me.  Hurt me.  Tame your filthy bitch.

When He purposefully removes His calm, cool, and collected mask and lets His passion for me rage, I know no greater joy and fulfillment.  I dance with His Beast like I was born only for His pleasure.  He pushes me further and further every time we indulge in our darkness.  He strips me down to my whorish essence and plunders at will.

Under Him.  Beneath Him.  Pleasing Him.  Serving Him.  

I crave Him like lungs seek air.  To feel Him somewhere - anywhere - inside me is to experience a freedom I've never known and to feel so thoroughly alive that I can barely stand at the flood of sensations.  As His tongue possesses my mouth, I tremble.  As His hand shoves deep into my greedy fuckhole, I pant in mindless pleas.  As His hard Black Dick rips into my tight puckered asshole, I howl in feral bliss.

His victim.  His meat.  His toy.  His whore.

As His handcropbeltflogger tears into my flesh, I succumb so absolutely that HeThisNow is all that exists in my world.  The pain that He incites leaves me helpless.  To sate His sadistic needs is my ultimate quest.  As I am held down so forcefully, I find a blessed peace at belonging so completely to Him.  To be at His mercy and know He is my only savior.  As I obey and fall to my knees to accept Him in ways I've never dreamed nor dared, I am everything and nothing.  His goddesswhore.  I do not fight my fate, my dark cruel destiny.  I embrace it, bask in it, become all He leads me to be.

For Him.  With Him.  As His.

Our journey ahead stretches across dark seas I have yet to even consider, yet I know of no other future that this one with Him.  In Him, I have found where I belong.  He has given me my place and purpose.

Owned.  On His leash.  At His feet.  I am home.
~DominaKat

What She Was

She broke her nails against the rough brick.  Tears streamed.  Makeup ran in ugly smudges.  A plump mouth opened wide and drooling.  That slut.  That whore.  With her fat pale ass bouncing, in between the shadows of the alley, they fucked.

I had watched as he pushed her into the empty recess.  I had watched as he grabbed her neck and forced her further away from the oblivious pedestrians.  I caught my breath when he smacked her face and pushed up her shirt to grope her plump tits.  He wasn't kind.  The cruel bastard left marks and tugged viciously at her nipples as she whimpered.   I got wet as she arched her back and spread her thighs in need.  Dirty heifer.  Filthy gutter slut.  No shame.  Not a lick.  What is this world coming to?  I panted when he shoved her dress up to her waist and shoved his dark hand into her hungry white snatch.  I could hear the wet suck of her sloppy cunt getting pummeled.  It echoed between those old crumbling buildings.

He knew what she was too.  "Nasty bitch in heat."  "Whore."  He growled those insults at her and all she did was ride his hand like her very life depended on it.  Maybe it did.  As she humped against his palm, his long fingers grasped her pale throat.  Her panting was silenced, but the gush of cum rained down on the garbage strewn concrete like a summer storm.  It pooled between her pretty stilettos in sick proof that she was nothing but another trashy bitch willing to do whatever her man asked.

He smeared his cum soaked hand across her face and tits as he finally released her to gasp for air. He took a small step back.  Behind the day's stacked garbage there stood the trembling ho with a pleading look in her eyes for more, so he gave the dumb cunt what she wanted and shoved her utters and tear stained cheek against the building.  She stuck her ass high in the air begging like a dog.  Fucking disgusting.

But I couldn't look away.  I watched.

Them.

Fuck.

Guttural.  Angry.  Violent.  He rutted in her brutally.  His dick slammed into her again and again as he held her head against the wall.  The messy pool grew larger between her shoes grew until a thin river began to make it's way to the sunlit sidewalk only feet away.  "This is what you were made for, isn't it?" I heard his dark voice rumble.  "I'm going to punish you even worse when we get home for being such a filthy slut," he threatened.  All I could think is that she deserved it.  "What woman in her right mind would do this?  How many fucking times can this cunt cum?" I wondered.  Another nail broke.

He snatched her by the back of her hair and pulled arching her back impossibly.  Her nipples shred themselves against the ragged brick.  He thrust viciously.  Once.  Twice.  Then pulled out.  His hard, black dick glistened angrily in a streak of reflected sun.  He dragged her to her knees to kneel in her own cum.  "Suck me dry, heifer."  She didn't have a choice.

He held her head and face fucked her.  I could hear her choke on the head of his dick.  He punished her mouth like no man I'd ever witnessed.  Spit ran from her lips and splashed across her bouncing tits.  He closed his eyes and leaned back his head for a moment almost in divine wonder.  Then a darkness over took his chiseled features.  A sneer.  A dark hellish groan.  I held my breath as he shoved so deep in her throat her face was smashed against his thick mat of black public hair.  I watched in stunned fascinations as that nasty bitch came again while she sucked down his thick juicy nut like a starved child.

She was the most shameless bitch I've ever seen.

She was a filthy whore taking dick in the middle of the day in an alley.

She was a two-dollar slut enjoying every moment of her demise.

Sick.  Twisted.

She was...

Me.
~DominaKat

Beasts Rage

A battle of deviant beasts.
Passion's violence.
Focused fury.

Rained.
    Rained.
        Rained.

Down.

Brutal blows beat.
Sharp slaps stung.
Pain pounded pleasure.

Defiance sought blindly that dark madness.

My soul.

Ripped.
    Exposed.
        Bleeding out.

Under You.

Ordered to my knees at Your feet.
Thick thighs spread in whorish invitation.
Fat utters heaved.

Burning rain poured.
Over your chosen queen.
And filthy prideless bitch.

Claimed.
Your animal.
Property to abuse.

The reviled slut.
Roared to life.
And tasted her sweet destiny.

Stained in You.
Dripped of You.
Reeked of You.

Burn.
    Burn.
        Burn.

You seeped into my pours.

The leash's quiet click echoed in my soul.
Submission trembled.
The sharp edge of madness hovered.

Lead.
Pushed.
Opened.
Filled.

You.
    You.
        You.

Inside.
Me.
So deep.

I tumbled over the ragged cliff.

Sweet peace.
Freedom on Your chain.
Dark flight through heaven and hell.

No i.

Yours.

Take.
    Feast.
        Own.

Yours.

Pain.
    Agony.
        Cruelty.

Finally...
Yes...
Ahhh...

Surrender.

The battle gratefully lost.
My place found.
Peace settled like a blanket over the fallen.

Pale thighs punished.
Stretch cunt pulsed around You.
Your brutal pain devoured.

More.
  More.
    More.

My very soul in Your hands.

You.
  Yours.
    Us.

This.

Your greedy whoreslutcuntmeat.
Broken contently beneath you.
Cleansed pure in Our twisted fire.

Remade.
  Whole.
    Transformed.

In the wake of Your vicious Destruction.
~DominaKat

Stripped Raw with Humiliation

Yes...with M, I very much enjoy humiliation.  I said it.  A strong, intelligent, vocal, opinionated woman confesses to and embraces being debased, embarrassed  and shamed by her loving partner.  Humiliation is admittedly one of our darker and harsher kinks, yet I bask in it like a goddess to her God and cower beneath it like a victim to her lifelong Captor.  It is truly the mindfuck to end all mindfucks, and I fucking love it.

I only began to experience the thrill and beauty (yes...beauty!) of humiliation in the last year.  As my relationship with M grew and He slowly led me down this path, I found the dark edge - the madness - I'd searched so long to share with another.  However, more than any other kink, I struggled to understand where the strong psychological appeal was born from within me...the why.  For a long time, I couldn't answer that question and simply privately enjoyed the journey.  It has only been since the end of last year that I have finally been able to articulate the attraction and thrill.

I am stripped raw before Him.  Of every guard.  Every bit of buffer.  Every scrap of protection.  When M drowns me in humiliation, I am completely naked mentally and emotionally for Him.  His power over me in these moments is absolute, like vines penetrating my soul and weaving between the threads of me.  I am so viciously open that I am both helpless and invincible.  He sees all that I am.  The good.  The bad.  The unapologetically filthy and twisted.  There is nothing hidden from Him.  I am truly, blessedly free to be all that I am.  His acceptance and even pure delight at my vulnerability and humiliation let's me wallow in our darkness in unrepentant shame, embarrassment, helplessness and blissful submission.

No...His humiliation is not meant to destroy my soul nor is it emotional abuse.  Is a spanking or flogging physical abuse?  Impact play, the pain, and the cleansing it brings is the physical equivalent of mental and emotional humiliation.  Humbling myself to His verbal cruelty or to kneel under the hot stream of His piss shatters every bit of pride and frees me of all societal bonds.  At once, I am nothing and everything.

I've never been stripped so raw for another human being in my life as I am for M.  I trust Him completely, and the light side of our relationship burns hot and bright.  That strong foundation of trust and light is what allows us to indulge so deeply in this dark, twisted kink.  I would never risk it with anyone else.  With Him, in these moments of stark vulnerability, I am safe.  He is extremely conscious of how vulnerable I am and never seeks to permanently damage His pet.  Though His cruelty and debasement is all I feel in the moment, I know how much He honors and cherishes the depths of my submission.  He is my safety net.  He is my guardian.  He is my salvation.  When He tears me down, all that I have is Him.  As I submit to His torment, His sole focus focus is on me.  There is an undeniable harsh purity between us.  ~whimper~  The intimacy within these moments is earth-shattering and binds us together so tightly that the memories will live on forever.  Dancing together in this hot flame, His Beast roars and claims what is and always will be His.
~DominaKat

The Brutal Path to Darkness

First thing this morning, He lead me to into the dark.  I wasn't expecting it.  Maybe it was because I had been a bit careless.  Maybe He thought I needed to be reminded of my place.  Without warning, He shut the door and took me to Our darkness.

The sudden loss of light was welcome but almost unfamiliar.  I struggled to adapt.  I was disoriented.  His hold on my leash wasn't tight enough for me to center myself.  I clumsily stumbled.  I'd momentarily find my direction, only to be utterly lost with the next breath.  I fitfully kept trying.  Again.  And again.  I sought a path to obedience.  I couldn't find my way.  To my submission.  To my place.  To Him.  When he disgustedly ordered me to "just stop and leave it alone."  I was forced to face the ugly foreign reality.  I'd failed.  I had failed Him completely.

Shame overwhelmed me.  Fear clawed at me.  Sobs shook me violently as I curled into myself in humiliation and horrible stark emptiness.  My brutal failure tore through me like a jagged dull knife.  A shattered helpless heap, I felt so alone and unworthy my bones ached.

"Crying is what stupid cunts do. I want you to lay there and think about just how stupid and worthless you are, cunt."  His verbal kick tormented me.  Hot tears streaked down my face.

Apologies tumbled humbly from my lips.  "I'm so sorry.  Please forgive me..."  I crawled toward His ridicule.  "I need you, Sir.  Please..."

"So pathetic."  His cold voice and harsh words raked over my empty soul.  With every phrase, I gave in further, begged harder, slithered closer to the deep unyielding madness I so craved.

I was drowning in my need for Him.  "I am stupid and worthless and fucking helpless without you."

"Yes, you are.  My voice, my hand, my touch are the only things your body will respond to, aren't they meat?"

"Yes, Sir,"  I whimpered following His voice deeper into darkness.  "I need you, Sir," I begged, completely broken.  "You are my beginning and end.  I am just a stupid mindless toy for my Owner to play with.  Use."  My tears spilled and splattered across my breasts as I crawled toward the only One that could save me.  A gripping heat once again coiled in my cunt.

"You're stupid and useless," He barked at me.  "You need me to lead you.  You need my leash to keep you steady and moving forward."  I crumpled at His feet.  Curled shamelessly below Him, I clung to His dominance and cruelty.  My tears fell on His hard boots as He looked down on His pathetic toy.

Brokenly I continued my pleas, hoping for forgiveness.  "Yes, I need your touch and your words to feel.  I am nothing without you, Sir."

"That's right.  Without me you are nothing."  One foot lifted and was placed at my neck, holding me down to the cold floor.  I trembled in my dark submission.  The heavy folds of my cunt became slick with my shame.  "You are completely dependent on me."

"Oh yes, Sir, I need you to breathe," I whispered.  "Only you can make me come alive.  Only you understand the twisted darkness I need to feel.  Only you.  You are the reason I wake up.  You are the reason I live.  To be yours.  I was born for you."

"That's the truth of everything," He stated coldly between clenched teeth.  I panted like a dog in response.

"I will do anything for you.  Suffer through anything for you," I cried brokenly.  "I am yours, M.  Completely.  Helplessly.  Yours.  My place is under you."

His growl was my only reply.  I shivered in fear and need.  I wanted so desperately to please my Beast.  "Please Sir.  May I try again to obey?  I want to make up for my utter pathetic failure."

"Do it, stupid." He demanded as He lifted His boot.  "But fail again and you can forget it for awhile."

I frantically scurried to my back with my fat ass between His boots,  I spread my legs wrapping them around His calves,  I was open to Him in the most vulnerable of ways.  I pulled my cunt lips wide, exposing myself further.  Though completely untouched, in seconds I began to cum endlessly like the pathetic dog I was as He watched me embrace my place below Him.  He growled deep at my submission.  The arch of my shameful orgasm splattered across my thighs and to the unyielding floor.  I poured for Him like a whorish fountain.  Long minutes He watched me wither and groan beneath Him in wet lust responding simply to His heavy hand and brutal mental cruelty.  As the waves of my orgasm finally ebbed, He stood and walked away with only one final parting phrase,  "That's a good dog."

Left helplessly in the messy pooling puddle of my hot cum, I faced the harsh vicious truth.  Only M and the Beast dwelling inside Him would ever inspire my abject and total submission.  Only His unrestrained darkness would ever quench the thirst I'd always held in my soul.  His brutal path to darkness was both my destruction and my salvation.  My freedom and His are found in the heady addictive blend of Our sweet light and the madness of Our dark.  He is my Alpha and Omega.
~DominaKat