Good Morning

My thighs are sweet and slick.
Coated in my sugar.

I came hard and juicy.

A touch.
A rub.
A pinch.

Fingers delve deep.
A toy slips into my aching fuckhole.

I'm a greedy slut in the morning.

I want to cum.
Again and again.

I want to wake up reminded of my role.

Little Girl.
Slut.
Whore.

My thighs spread eagerly.
The need so overwhelming.

Take.
Take.
Take.

So soft and wet.
My sweet whimpers.
My hot sucking cunt.

Please...
Yes...please...

Stretched.
Filled.
Reamed.

My back arches.
My cries echo.
A stream of juice squirts violently between my thighs.

Oh fuck yes...I love to cum in the morning.
~A Momentarily Sated Lioness

About Me

I'm 5' 11", thick, curvy, and I love to fuck. Kinky. Naughty. Dirty. I love the energy and dynamics of BDSM. I enjoy a variety of roles. However, I have limitations to what BDSM activities I can share without the foundation of a serious and intimate relationship.  In other words, just because you see it listed as a fetish, don't expect me to give it to you carelessly.  I value and respect myself - mind, body, and spirit - and do my best (yes, I occasionally fuck that up lol) to honor who I am and those I care for.

Ultimately I search for a true, loving Daddy, Dom, and Master who would love, protect and appreciate me.  However I accept and realize that the dynamics of those roles take time and effort as well as mutual respect, trust, and consideration to build. For now, I want to find play partners that will inspire, tempt, and challenge me. I seek to explore all that I am - all that I could be - with others of quality, character, honesty, and integrity.

While I respect the privacy and boundaries of others, full disclosure of who we play with and the relationship framework that you have with them is mandatory - no exceptions.  How you choose to handle others is your decision, but I have a zero tolerance policy.  If you break that trust...you are gone. I'm not interested in lies, games, carelessness, or drama. If you can't be an adult, be honest, and be respectful of me...stick to other shallow cowards like yourself who lie and steal from those around them. You'll get what you deserve.

Whether we play for a moment, a month, or years, I don't fuck around on my pets, my friends, or my lovers.  I will tell you who I am involved with, when I play, and the framework we play under.  As with almost every relationship - whether casual, friends, or serious - there may come a time when the choices we make are no longer compatible with either your expectations or mine. However with open, honest communication we should be able to maintain the warm feelings that brought us together in the first place as we go our separate ways in our journey.

Maybe all of that is asking a lot. But I'm worth it. ;-)
~Kat

A Cumming Out Party?

In the mindset of moving on and past the games of the last year, I've been assessing strategies for finding what I want and need.   Considering my switchy-ness as well as broad range of interests and curiosities, it's pretty likely I'll need to get out and about to satisfy my desires.

To date I really haven't gotten involved with any of the local community events.  I've taken note of them, but in my attempt not to upset the apple cart the last year (no one told me the fucking mules were dead and the apples rotting in the back...I know...I know...) I haven't pursued attendance.  Currently my view is quite different, and I'm evaluating each opportunity to determine if it's a fit for what I hope to experience and find.

The one I'm looking forward to the most is Club Princeton.  I have to indulge in this bit of delicious wickedness before the end of the year.  And it looks as though this is going to line up perfectly with my first "Cougar Party."  lol  Poor Maximus... ;-)

Another direction I'm going in is the scene in Pitt, which seems to be a little more my style and more populated.  There seems to be several munch groups, but I'm still unclear on the play party aspect.  However my plan is early next year to start getting to know my PA neighbors in person a bit and see where things lead.

And finally...the swinging scene.  I've been on the outside looking in for several weeks now.  I've talked to some people.  Some...not cool.  A bit too cold and pushy for my taste.  However, some...very, very warm people.  In fact I've been invited as a guest to a play party on Saturday.  I could go and just see what's to see, watch how things work.  I could go and just play with the very nice couple that invited me.  Or I could indulge in my first orgy and let others physically overwhelm me in sensation.  For a moment turn off the mental and emotional and simply let others take.

I'm torn.

Part of me wants to erase him as he's so easily erased me - to physically erase the value of what I gave away to someone I loved but who lied and played games in order to steal what he didn't deserve.  He doesn't deserve the honor he was given.  I wish I could somehow take it fucking back.

The other part of me wants to wait and share a swinging party-fest with a true friend, lover and partner who would ground me.  I want a Dom/Master/Daddy by my side whose shared experience would amplify mine and whose loving arms would hold me after it was all over and keep me warm through the night.

So...am I a true slut?  Or an idealist kinky fool?  lol

Ahhhhh...yes, the fool again.  I'll sit on the sidelines and honor who and what I am.  I know what I want and what I deserve.  I've already taken the necessary steps not to settle for crumbs, leftovers, and scraps from a man I genuinely loved.  I won't backtrack on myself now.  I'll continue on this road and be true to me.

There's plenty of other opportunities I have to explore...I will meet the very warm couple this weekend, and possibly soon I'll meet the potential male submissive I've been considering for the last month or so to determine if play time with him could satisfy some of my Domme's restlessness.  ;-)

All that should keep me plenty busy for a minute.  lol
~Kat

100...No...50 Things About Me

Saw this floating around.  Needed to keep things simple for a moment.  The expectation was 100, but I ran out of steam at 50.
~Kat

1. I'm 5' 11" and thick.
2. I'm recently single.  Though I've been single in a practical sense since 2003.
3. I hate lies, games, and dishonesty.
4. My favorite color is purple.
5. I've been in the lifestyle about a year.  Though I harbored dark kinky fantasies since my teens.
6. I have an insatiable sex drive when I'm inspired.
7. I own an '88 Ford Mustang GT, and YES, I know how to drive a stick.
8. I'd rather work on a car than go to the spa.
9. I am absolutely loyal to those I love and consider my true friends.
10. My heart is monogamous.
11. I'm a giver once I invest myself in someone.
12. I've been accused of being too passionate and feeling too deeply.  But I'd rather be that thana  careless, surface-level, chit chatty, fake social twit.
13. I'd be a shoe whore if I could.
14. I am an Alpha Bitch and will not sub to another woman.
15. My kink-of-choice depends on my partner and circumstances.
16. I've only loved twice.
17. I don't own a TV or have cable.  There's better things for me to do than consume garbage.
18. I'm a decent travel companion.
19. I hope somehow to have a sports bike next year for my 40th.
20. I've only recently discovered the little girl in me.  Had to put her away for now though.  She got roughed up pretty bad on her first bit of freedom.
21. I'd rather go to Home Depot than Sak's.
22. My favorite city is New Orleans, quickly followed by NYC.
23. I'm unrealistic and want a hero, but I know those are a myth.
24. I can't do poly D/S relationships.  It doesn't make sense to me.  Play partners...fine.  More than that...find someone who doesn't care anything about what you do.  That should work well for you.
25. I've known my best friend 23 years.  He's my rock, and I'd kill or die for him.
26. I sometimes foolishly keep trying even when all hope is lost.
27. 99% of the time, I keep my various lives completely separate from one another.
28. I have an Akita and share another.
29. I hate mini-vans.
30. I hate shopping.
31. From toe to toe is 86 inches.  Yes, that's over 7 feet.
32. I enjoy a good 9 mm.
33. I'm learning how to throw a whip.
34. I have 3 very sexy throwing knives.
35. I'm brutally honest and not always the best with tact.
36. I'm pretty damn good with situational mathematics.
37. I hate to fail.
38. I like to give and receive a bit of pain.
39. I'm in the mood to deliver pain lately.
40. I'm not a social butterfly.
41. I'm a speed (mph) junkie.
42. A part of me is completely fucking shattered right now.
43. I'm not a big drinker, but I prefer vodka.
44. I've never been out of the country.
45. I rather be alone than miserable with someone.
46. I love music.
47. I'm a procrastinator.
48. I hate paperwork.
49. I'd love to learn to sculpt.
50. I wish I didn't miss him.

Stage 1 Stalker

~ sigh ~  It's official.  I now have my second Stage 1 stalker.  Though this one does make me a bit more nervous than my first.  Blatantly ignoring basic English and direct statements.  I tried to be straight forward and polite.  Looks like that's not going to work, and I need to add in a bit of bitch.

Lesson here guys...Just because you may have an 8 inch cock does not make you impressive or desirable.
~Domina

A Lover's Pride

I was driving a dark road tonight, trying to escape my thoughts, my frustrations, and my pain.  The headlights cut through the night.  As I followed the path in front of me, I followed the various skipping stones in my head from one truth to another, from one realization to a theory to a possibility to a dead end and backtracking to a different possibility.  What I want.  What I don't want.  What I need.  What I can do without.  Working the puzzle that is me today.  I finally found the simplicity I'd been trying to find for probably 30 of my almost 40 years.

I want a Man I can be proud of.

That's it.  So simple.  It articulated everything I felt so fucking beautifully that I was momentarily stunned when it first crossed my mind.

First, notice the "I" there.  Everyone will have their assessment of what to be proud of and what  not.  For me, this isn't about appearance or money or job status or even perfection.  This isn't about all day, every day.  We all make mistakes.  It's about the sum of that person.  His character.  Who he is, and what he's about.

This isn't about moments either.  Moments don't make character.  A long string of moments...yes, those do.

I've been in four relationships in my life.  The fleeting others that may have floated temporarily across my path made little to no dramatic impact.  Honestly, of the four, there's only one I was proud of and am still proud of.  That was a lifetime ago.  However when I realized tonight what I've been struggling to define I immediately remembered what it was like to be proud of my man.  To be proud to be standing next to him.  To be proud to be considered his.  At the same time, I want My Man to be proud of me, proud to be with me, and proud that he is mine.  In my eyes, without that mutual, core respect and admiration...there is nothing.  Looking back, this likely sums up the major conflicts I held in other relationships.

I could not be proud of a man who lies and has no honor.
I could not be proud of a man that even those closest to him consider a whore.
I could not be proud of a man who's word means nothing as tomorrow he'll change his mind.
I could not be proud of a man who fails to be responsible for his actions.
I could not be proud of a man who chooses to hide in denial rather than face truth.
I could not be proud of a man who bullies and uses fear to accomplish his goals.

I could go on, but really this is about who I want in my life tomorrow.  Going forward, the standards for me in evaluating a potential partner - a Dom, a Master, a Daddy - will simply be...can I be proud of you?  Am I proud to be yours?  Not just in this moment, but yesterday and tomorrow and the space in between?

Ask yourself as I am as well...what is the sum of you?  What type of person will be proud of you?  What type of person would be proud to be yours?
~Domina

Writing this I'm reminded of something I first ran across on MrMF773's profile.

"He will always be attracted to the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself, the woman whose surrender permits him to experience -- or to fake -- a sense of self-esteem. The man who is proudly certain of his own value will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer, because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement, not the possession of a brainless slut."
~Ayn Rand

You can read more of the excerpt here.

Profile link and reference posted with permission.  Thank you MrMF.

A Warrior and A Little Girl

I found her in the drizzling rain.  Her head down, soaked to the skin.  Her little Mary Jane's muddy and scuffed.  Her pretty new dress now torn and tattered.  The soft, delicate skin of her knees and hands scrapped and bleeding.  On her pale cheek she still wore the taint mark of a firm, cruel slap.  My sweet, shy little girl.  Sitting so still on the park bench, so fragile.  Battered as she'd never been before.

My fault.  I'd told her it was safe to come out to play.  I took a chance, simply wanting to let her be free and give myself a moment to lay down my guards.  I was foolish and careless.  I knew better, but I let it happen anyway.  I hated that she hurt.  I hated myself more for trusting her safety with a selfish, greedy little boy that didn't understand how to take care of something so beautiful and value the rare gift he'd been given.  My boots quickly covered the last yards separating us. As my feet came to rest in front of her, I watched her take a shaky breath.

"You came back," she whispered.  "I was afraid you weren't going to.  It took so long."

"I'll always come back.  Even if I get lost.  I always find my way back."

She thought about that for a moment before replying.  With a sniffle, she looked up at me with her pale blue eyes shimmering with left over tears.  "Yes, you do.  You always come back to protect me, Domina."  A tear slipped down her cheek, which she hastily brushed away.  "Is he gone?  Did you chase him away."

I ignored the ache inside me.  "Yes.  He's gone, Kitten.  He won't bother you again.  I sent him to play in his best friend's backyard far, far away.  He likes to steal his toys.  It's his favorite little game, and it should keep him busy a long, long time."

She looked back down to the wet ground at our feet.  Her hands clenched in her dress tightly.  "He didn't want to be My Daddy.  He pretended for a little bit.  Got me to say things I'd never said before.  Got me to do things I'd never done before.  But..."  Her voice broke.  Her tears fell.  "He didn't mean it, Domina.  I tried...but he didn't mean it at all."

My heart broke for her.  My guilt sliced through me.  I'd let this happen.  I knelt down beside her and grasped her hands.  "No, Kitten.  He's wasn't and couldn't be your Daddy.  He's just a selfish, greedy, careless little boy that takes everything he can get. He can't be anyone's Daddy because he has no honor or loyalty.  He doesn't do what's right.  He simply does whatever he wants.  That's not a Daddy.  He's not good enough to be your Daddy.  You deserve the best Daddy in the world."

She sighed quietly.  "I know you're right, Domina.  But...but I didn't know how wonderful it might be to have a Daddy and to be free...to not hide away all the time."

I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead onto hers, wishing so much I could find what she so wanted and deserved.  "I know, baby.  I know.  I'll keep trying.  I'll keep looking for a Daddy that deserves you."

She reached up and put her cold, delicate hands around my cheeks.  As she looked at me with her runny nose and tear-stained cheeks, she firmly reminded me of the truth.  "No, Domina.  Someone that deserves us both.  Who deserves a warrior and a little girl."

I laughed just slightly to break the gut-wrenching realization that this sweet little girl loves me so, even though I've failed her so completely. "You are a demanding little thing," I teased, "but you're absolutely right."  I reached up and wiped away the last of her tears with my thumbs.  "It's time to go back inside now, where I can keep you safe."

"I know," she breathed softly.

I stood up and reached for her hand, which she placed trustingly into mine.  She paused looking around at what we had once hoped could have been a happy place for her.  When she stood, she again looked up at me and confessed, "I don't want anyone to see my tears, to know how hurt I am, to see me so messy."

Without hesitation, I squeezed her hand and gave her the truth.  "Your tears are nothing to be ashamed of, Kitten.  They are proof that you loved and loved true.  They are proof that you gave everything you had.  They are a testament to the soft, sweet purity that is you.  This is my failure, baby.  This is his.  Not yours."

She tucked herself against me, "Take me back in, Domina.  I don't want to play anymore.  I just want to rest and let you keep me safe."

"I will, sweet baby.  I promise.  I won't let you down, again."

Together we walked away.  From all that could have been.  From all that should never have been.
~Domina

As with most of what I write, it spins in my head refusing to go away until I let the words have their voice.  Part of me wanted to bury this deep, but I had to be true to my own belief that there is no shame in loving, even when it is foolish and undeserved.  As always, I find my strength and carve out a path to survive.  Maybe someday my little girl will have a safe place to exist in my life, but for now she is hidden away again behind my thick, towering walls - away from silly, cruel games where she can mend her wounds and sorrows in peace.

Lucky Bus Slut - Part II

Part 1 of Writer's Hot Potato

She wet her lips hungrily, opened her mouth and wrapped her lips around that velvety, slick head.  Her tongue lapped at the pre-cum, her presence had inspired.

A quiet growl was her reward.

His hand tightened in her hair and push her head further and further down his cock until her nose was pressed against his belly.  The head pushing at the back of her throat as her tongue stroked along his rod revealed her to be the nasty slut he'd hoped she would be.  Gritting his teeth, trying to hold back he released her.

"Show me what a good slut you can be, Cassie," he whispered.

"Yes, Sir," she panted quietly, attempting to avoid any curious glances back their way.  She devoured his hard cock like a starving wench.  One hand held his base.  The other slipped under his tight nuts to massage and tease.  Silently, she sucked and pulled urging him to the brink of release before she'd pull away and tease his throbbing head with the tip of her tongue.  Then she'd begin anew.  Pushing herself overtop of him until he was fully embedded in her mouth.  Intensity.  Tease.  Intensity.  Tease.

Looking up, she smiled sassily and asked, "Is this how your cum-mute usually goes?"

Before he could think of a suitable response she was on him again.  Her mouth tighter.  Her tongue demanding.

"Yes, suck me hard," he softly growl through his clenched jaw.

She wrapped both of her tiny hands around his dick, jerking him tightly as she sucked hard on his head.  She wanted his hot cream filling her mouth.

"Fuck..." he whispered.

She let go and took him fully into the heat of her mouth.  His first spirt of cum hit her throat.  Then she pulled back enough, so that she could suck his load.  One swallow.  Two.  And finally three.  Her tongue lapped up the excess as she pulled back.

"Did that meet your needs, Sir?" Cassie asked politely.

...Tossing the potato back.

An Answer for Me

As I mentioned in a previous post, Friday I had my answer.  Now, I need to figure out the answer for me.  What I want.  What I need.

I am an extremely sensual, sexual creature.  I refuse to stuff a core piece of me back into a box simply because I was hurt by someone else's carelessness and disregard.  Doing that would only be punishing myself for his poor choices.  I loved.  I gave everything I could.  He didn't want it.  It wasn't important to him.  ~shrug~  There's no shame in that.  I won't further limit myself or hide in the background because of it.

I love to fuck.  Kinky.  Naughty.  Dirty.  I love the energy and dynamics of BDSM.  I enjoy a variety of roles.  While ultimately I likely search for a true, loving Daddy, Dom, and Master...I accept and realize that the dynamics of those roles take time, effort, respect, trust, and caring to build.  For now, I want to find play partners that will inspire, tempt, and challenge me.  I seek to explore all that I am - all that I could be - with others of quality, character, honesty, and integrity.  Maybe that's asking a lot.  But I'm worth it.  ;-)

What I don't want is to repeat my past.  I'm not into hearing lies, playing games, players with multiple profiles, being a victim to someone else's consistent self-denial, avoidance and endless chaotic stream of I-need-to-feel-better-about-myself relationships, or investing the best pieces of me into someone who doesn't appreciate their worth.

I deserve better.
I should expect better.
I will demand better.
~A Lioness Ready to Explore

Kat 101

Post #101...

I'm a naughty, perverted Friend.
If you are loyal and real.

I'm an insatiable Lover.
If you can pique my interest and keep up.

I'm a rebellious, difficult Bitch.
If you can match me.

I'm a dirty Slut.
If you deserve it.

I'm Alpha Bitch of a X-some.
If you can remember your priorities.

I'm a Girlfriend.
If you can be patient and have character.

I'm sweet, wicked Domina.
If you behave and ask nicely.

I'm an obedient, giving Submissive.
If you can inspire that gift.

I'm a greedy Fucktoy.
If you can remember, I'm a woman to value.

I'm a perfect Unicorn.
If you both are easy-going and enjoyable.

I'm a committed, monogamous Partner.
If you are careful, considerate, and love true.

I'm a willing, loyal Slave.
If you can handle the responsibility and possess the strength of character to claim me.

I'm a soft, sweet Little Girl.
If you can earn the wealth of trust needed to be My Daddy.

I'm a nasty, fucking Whore.
If you are the right man.

But I'm Nothing to you.
If you can't be honest and straightforward.
~Naughty Kat

An Answer

Well...it looks as if I have my answer now.  What I expected.  Even though some tiny part of me hoped for something different.  Some last amazing, out-of-the-blue, one in a million Hail Mary to save the day.  But that would have meant I was worth a hell of a lot, and when there's five others to fill in the little gaps where I use to be...  ~shrug~  Really...why go through all that effort or potential sacrifice?  A whore is just a whore.  A friend is just a friend.  Some people can treat theirs as interchangeable, even if I can't.  And besides, when your rule is to play like a champion, risky Hail Marys aren't in your play book.  Just move on to the next game and shrug off the last ending.

The last week has been pretty rough.  I've cried myself to sleep more times than I can count.  Couldn't sleep more than two hours at a time.  Couldn't eat.  The last two days, I've attempted to exhaust myself and lose myself in sheer physical labor.  It's dulled the pain, but not the ache.  And obviously, it hasn't cured the insomnia nor has it created an appetite.  However, the giant knot in my gut that was braced for what I knew couldn't be avoided has finally ebbed.  I guess it helps that I haven't been yelled or screamed at in over a week, when no matter what I did...nothing I could say was right.  lol  I was starting to feel like I was reliving my marriage.

~sigh~

Still lots of shit in my head, but I have my answer.  The rest is simply for me to figure out.
~A Quiet Kat Just Figuring It All Out

Need to Fly

Rough day.
I need to lose myself.
I need to fly.

Pain and sorrow.
Compounded.
One on top of another.

I dance with my tears.
They rise up so swiftly.
I choke the burn down.

I need to fly.
High.
Fast.

Tired.
So tired.
Of losing.

Embrace oblivion.
Where nothing exists.
But the next sweet rush.

I dance with the dark.
It stalks my shadow.
Waiting for my surrender.

I need to fly.
Deep.
Absolute.

Broken pieces.
Shatter even further.
Cut to my soul.

Old wounds broken open.
New ones laid bare.
Punishment for my foolishness.

I dance with the edge.
But cling fast to my fortress.
And embrace my sliver of peace.

I need to fly.
I need to fly.
I need to fly.
~Just Kat Tonight