Confession

There are days when the need to be a nasty, filthy slut is damn near all consuming.  I'm not talking mild slut.  I'm talking squirting down my thighs in public slut.  Cum-covered lips on the subway kind of slut.  Raising my dress and humping a fire-hyrdrant with my fat whorish tits hang out slut.  The kind of slut that leaves M grinning darkly tugging on my leash as old ladies cross their chest and men adjust their thickening cocks.

Yes...that's me this morning.  With the overwhelming need to spread my legs and be used in the most filthy vile ways.  Pain.  Pleasure.  ~sigh~ It makes no fucking difference.  My single point of existence in these moments is to be M's Black owned three-holed piece of thick white meat, to cum in groaning bliss, to harden a dick and make it throb with a need to conquer. 

I'm no saint.  lol  No.  Not at all.  Look elsewhere for that kind of sweet purity.  I'm sure that would be a delight to corrupt, but that's not me.  I'm well down the trail to hell.

No.

I. 

Am. 

A fucking wretched, sinning, crawling gutterslut who seeks complete subjugation and humiliation.

I need broken down and shattered with His mind.

I need to dance in frenzied madness by His hands.

I am a fuck-craving whore that needs beat and used until I'm a crumpled stained mess on the floor reeking of lust and destruction.  Even then I'd still spread my legs for more, just like a dog seeking a belly rub.  I beg for my holes to be affectionately and violently violated.  I pant for M.  I whimper.  I'll even bark if that will please Him.

But the day begins, and so I politely close my legs, wipe my mind clean of my pathetic salacious thoughts, and straighten my clothes to be respectable.  Smile pretty.  Be good.  Pretend I didn't start my day with my hand between my legs playing in His wet sloppy hole and thrashing on the bed.  

Ohhhh...look isn't that cute.  Puppy and kitten posts.  Uplifting quotes of the day.  Lovely. 

I return to the realities, tragedies, and games of my vanilla existence.

Smile...just smile...and fight the urge to squat on the ground to cum like a dog.

~DominaKat

Purging Misbehavior

That filthy animal.  That rebellious bitch.  Oh yeah...all those nasty, immoral, depraved urges have swallowed me whole.  I don't want to be a good girl.  I don't want to be dutiful and efficient alfred.  I don't want to be fucking obedient.  Fuck all of that.  I don't give a fuck about that polite sweetness right now.

Fucking make me.

The willful, twisted, selfish whore rises from her cave with a vengeance.  My beast rages for the pure sanctity of violence and use.  I don't feel like making it easy.  I don't feel like holding back.  I will swing and fight and scream.  You'll have to take every bit of me.  I'll give nothing.  I need the demand and force of destruction.  I need that kind of ugly, brutal, cruel, bloody fight.  Leave me black and blue.  I need sheer mother fucking madness.  I want to see that loss of control in His eyes.  I need to see that dark fire so bright it's unholy what He will do to me.  Yes...baptize me in all those unholy desires You keep silently housed in the back of your mind.  Show me how evil Your beast can be.

I am nothing.  I am everything.  My beast is the most vicious bitch He will ever fucking conquer.  I won't give quarter until I'm covered in cum, spit, piss, and sweat.  Oh yeah...feel free to try to make me choke on that hard Black dick pushing down my throat until puke coats my heaving fat white tits. I don't want control.  I don't want patience.  I don't want nurturing.  I don't want Your fucking approval.  I don't want any reassurances.  In fact, just leave all the shit that those soft sides always crave at the fucking door.  Whatever.  I don't really give a fuck right now.  All I want is to wallow in the filthiest of acts.

I need used.

Like a two-dollar whore on a Saturday night behind a dumpster of a bar in South Bronx.  For hours.  Days.  I want to be fucked so hard in every hole until I scream.  I'll spread my creamy thick thighs for His dick, His fist, His face, His bat, His fucking beer bottle.  Just fill my sloppy hot cunt until I scream, laugh, and am drenched in the tears of the damned.  Take it.  OWN it.  Make me your nastiest, most corrupt bitch. Sin. Sin. Sin. Sin. Sin.  I don't care who sees, who knows, who smells my slutty perverse stench.  I want to reek of Him and His use.

I need to be naked in the dirt and mounted like a wild animal.  I need to be caged.  I need to be beaten.  I need raped and molested and violated.  I need to be made to cry, beg, even bark as He shoves Himself deep into my tender ass and rides me again and again as His cumdump.  I want to take a fist in the ass and then be forced to... fuck...I don't care.  Just force me.  Make me.  I want to be wanted that god damned much.  That darkly.  Where there is no reason, simply "I MUST have ALL of her."  Do it.  Demand the darkest, deepest, most demented desires that will devour my soul.

Set my fucking monster free.  Unleash the whore I've keep buried and tamed and silent.  Break that part of me that hides deep in the shadows of my soul and quench the fire that consumes me.

My God, I need M.  I need His Beast to cure my insanity.  To take the pressure of at least some small of the eruption of darkness currently flooding my soul.  It is crashing over me with a force I'm not sure I've felt ever.  ~sigh~ The darkest part of me has broken free, and I'm not sure how well, I'll be able to stuff that beast back in her cave.
~DominaKat

Clean Up

Cleaning up my friends list on fet over the next few days.  My feed has become irrelevant and uninspiring.  In fact, a lot more than that has become irrelevant and uninspiring.  It's time I get back to the basics before I walk away completely.  But as I go through this...cleansing, a few thoughts.

I'm not impressed with...

• Dick pics.  ~yawn~  So fucking what.  I can find something bigger to try to shove up in me if size was the key.  What can you do with my mind?  Do you have an imagination?  Do you even have a clue that this is about more than sex?  
• 300+ friends.  Really?  Is that all you do is friend everyone?  So quantity is more important than quality.  Hmmmm...I'm pretty much a substance kinda girl.  Looking for it in anyone who I include in my circle.
• Porn-addicts.  Dude...if the only thing you do is search for more pictures of tits and ass to love and beat off to every night, you really need a life and a swift kick in the ass.  Good god, you must be a total bore to converse with.  No one ever been my friend let alone allowed to touch me without having something to talk about.
• Manwhores.  Yeah...A.D.D. when it comes to relationships is a waste of time.  I'm not into being on any one's long list of friends, text buddies, IM buddies, or lovers.  I'm worth way more than that time of carelessness.
• Domwannabes.  Rough sex does not make you a dom nor does it really even make you kinky.  It puts you on the extreme side of vanilla.  Don't pretend and try to convince us your anything more than what you are.  If you want to be respected as a Dom/Master...learn, grow, evolve.  Sitting there doing nothing while pounding on your chest saying you're to be respected?  lol  Very uninspiring.
• Liars & Cheaters.  Seriously...if you can't be honest, there's no point.  I have zero tolerance for games, drama, lies, and bullshit.
• Dramawhores.  Ummmm...you create your own energy.  Go watch a soap opera and stay as far away from me as possible.  I tend to get vicious and violent when drama gets blown my way.
• Capt. Save-A-Hoe Types.  I'm not a ho' that needs saving.  I"m a woman that wants a partner in life.  I've had my fill of men whining about how woman treat them when half the problem is they either stay or keep picking the same type.  If history keeps repeating itself, maybe you should try something different.
• Silent Lurkers.  Nothing to say?  Nothing to contribute?  No questions?  Comments?  Curiosities?  You want to be a Dom/Master/Owner but you can't even speak on the lifestyle, the concepts, the framework?  Huh...I suppose a sub is just suppose to immediately respond to your self appointed title?  lol  A little advice...respect is earned.
• Stalkers.  Ummmm...so is it jealousy?  Is it a game?  Or are you just so easily entertained?  Does your stomach ever heave when you pry and snoop?  Do you enjoy your anonymity and being lost in the shadows?  Come on...stop playing hide and seek.  Either run along or stand up and be about something.
• I Want What's Yours.  ~sigh~  Really?  So being respectful is essentially a lost art these days.  Yes, I know you're there.  lol  I'm not a fool.  I understand you can't find your own.  Try to take the shortcut.  Such a messy, ugly place to begin, but hey that says what about you?  And if I lose... well, honestly it's best if we all find that out now, don't ya think? 
• Fuck & Pass.  Hmmmmm...So tell me.  Does that make you feel better about yourself?  Huh.  Interesting.  And not the good kind of interesting either.  Maybe you should talk to someone.  The professional kind.
• Smoke & Mirrors.  Multiple profiles.  Multiple sites.  Multiple personalities, games, and bullshit.  Wtf?!?  Are you still 12 and hiding from your mom?  Really?  If you can't man up and be you, then why would you deserve even a minute of my time?  Grow up.  Man up.  Own it.  Or embrace forever being a little coward sneaking off from one place to another for attention.  Trust me...you'll never find you self worth with the smoke and mirrors strategy.  

Yes...His soft, sweet lil pet has her claws out tonight.  Oh look...they are still as sharp as they've always been.  ;-P  My kindness, patience, and tolerance only go so far.

~DominaKat

Undomesticated

In a conversation recently with a friend, I was reminded of my undomesticated tendencies.  A lover once described me as this...

"You're not domesticated.  If I opened the door, let you out, and drove away, you wouldn't be there waiting on the steps when I got back."

My response..."Nope.  I wouldn't."  That fool learned just how right he was.  lol

I am not a silly domestic house cat.  I don't need pampered.  I'm not helpless to the world and desperate for someone to take care of me.  I won't die on my own.  And I damn sure will not hang around and pine away endlessly when I'm no longer sheltered in safety or when I'm ignored or abandoned.  Fuck that.

I'm a lioness.

I am strong.  I am intelligent.  I am fierce.  I have a will to fight and survive through whatever life tosses at me.  My untamed soul has never and will never give up and die on some fool's porch as he carelessly leaves me to starve and brave the elements.  Some women will wait for scraps.  I've never been one of them.

I am not leashed easily.  In fact only one Man has ever dared claim me as His pet and trained me to His hand.  No one else ever had the strength, patience, or wisdom to ease my instinct to fight and to nurture my trust so deeply that I willingly stretch out in bliss and show Him my vulnerable belly.  I will purr at His touch.  I will submit to His desires.  However He never forgets that it is a lioness at the end of His leash.  His respect and honor for my strength, loyalty, and submission is what keeps our D/s dynamic in balance.

In turn...I sheath my claws and curl contently at His feet.
~DominaKat

His Lioness

Respect.
Consideration.
Honor.

Those are what I give Him.
Those are what He deserves.
Anything less is unacceptable.

I love Him.
I will protect Him.
I will fight for Him.

I am His Lioness.
Not a silly lamb.
Not a fragile dove.

I will spit and hiss.
Claw and roar.
In my defense of Him.

I will not curl in a ball in self protection.
I will not whimper or be silent in fear.
I will be at His side.

He holds my leash.
He has tamed me.
No one else.
~DominaKat

Own It

I've started this post about five times now.  Trying to be insightful.  Trying to be empathetic.  I finally settled for authenticity and a vent.  And before I go any further...No it's absolutely NOT about my Daddy.  In fact it has absolutely nothing really to do with me.  But I'm going to say it anyway.

If you can't say the actual words.  Don't say it.  I realize we are in an age of shorthand everything, but those are words you don't carelessly dumb down.  Ever.

Show respectful of your Dom
Show respectful of your relationship
And show respectful of your own feelings.

It's the difference between slop and a five course meal.  Which one are you going to offer a Man who nurtures and builds you up?  Be intentional.  Own it.  Don't half ass shit just to avoid the emotional discomfort of being out on the ledge.  A rich life doesn't happen in a safety zone.  If you're not ready and still need your safety zone?  Fine.  Then just shutthefuckup.

Be silent unless you're brave enough to be respectful and intentional.  No one says the relationship dynamic has to evolve quickly.  Slow the fuck down and make every step count.

Even the little things count, especially at the beginning of a relationship.  How you approach one another.  How well you listen, pay attention, and respond.  The words you choose.  You're looking to build your relationship's foundation here.  Decide.  Do you want a foundation built of sturdy, solid boulders slowly shifted into place?  Or or haphazardly poured watered-down cement because it's just easier and doesn't require as much work?  Which base will stand the test time?  Which will hold up against the storms of life?

Augh.  Why is it that this even has to be explained?
~DominaKat

Honesty is Mandatory

While I respect the privacy and boundaries of others, full disclosure of who we play with and the relationship framework you have with them is mandatory - no exceptions.  How you choose to handle others is your decision, but I have a zero tolerance policy.  If you break that trust...you are gone. I'm not interested in lies, games, carelessness, or drama. If you can't be an adult, be honest, and be respectful of me...stick to other shallow cowards like yourself who lie and steal from those around them. You'll get what you deserve.

Whether we play for a moment, a month, or years, I don't fuck around on my lovers, my friends, or my pets. I will tell you who I am involved with, when I play, and the framework we play under.  As with almost every relationship - whether casual, friends, or serious - there may come a time when the choices we make are no longer compatible with either your expectations or mine. However with open, honest communication we should be able to maintain the warm feelings that brought us together in the first place as we go our separate ways in our journey.

Really, this shouldn't be that difficult, folks.  Don't be a child.  Be an adult.
~DominaKat