Tuesday, December 31, 2013

I Begin with Him

Fuck.
God.
Damn.

There is NOTHING.
And I mean fucking NOTHING.
Like starting off the day with my Daddy.
In His arms.

With His dick so hot and deep in my mouth.
As He beats my ass until I'm on fucking fire.
Yet I still beg for another strike.
And another.
As I choke, slurp, and suck like a good girl on Daddy's dick.
And then coming.
Again and again on His command.
Like a good dog.
In a gushing warm fucking mess.
Legs spread wide as He fills His hole.
And watches His cherished pet suffer and loose myself.
In Him.

Always.
In Him.
My beginning and end.
My center.
My everything.
~DominaKat

Friday, December 20, 2013

Clarity

He did it last night and again today.  There are these time-stopping moments.  When M stops me in my tracks and brands my heart all over again.  I never expect them.  I never see them coming.  Some He delivers calm and as collected as always.  Some He delivers with an intensity that leaves me quivering at His feet.  It's those moments, He shows me His heart, His Dominance, His sheer love for me in such stark clarity that I am so completely undone and overwhelmed I can forget to fucking breath.  

Each and every one of these moments cements and strengthens our bond, builds trust, and somehow I fall deeper in love with my Man.  I don't even know how that is possible, but it happens nonetheless.  Those moments and everything in between forever inspire me to give Him my everything.  M...He is the love of my life, the center of my world, my Alpha and Omega.

~sigh~ Damn, but that Man never ceases to surprise me.  :-)
~DominaKat

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Why I Suffer for Him

A fellow blogger over at A Kind Dom recently posted a few discussions about masochism and its relationship to submission.  Intrigued with the thoughtful discussion, I dove in.  But of course that didn't sate my need for words...

Why do I submit to M's sweet suffering?

I obey.
I am driven to sate His dark hunger deeply and richly.
I have an inherent need to serve and please, M.
I want to demonstrate actively how willing I am to submit to Him.
I love to suffer for Him, so He may drink my pain, fear, and tears.
I love Him.
I enjoy the challenge He rains down on me.
His darkness makes me so wet I leave puddles and so hungry I tremble.
He pushes and tests my limits with His darkness.  Every time it's a little bit more, a little harder, a little darker.
That fucking incredible endorphin rush.
So that I can hear the dark rumble of His growl.
The delightful suffering of it all rips me open mentally and emotionally to my Owner.
It tears down the day-in-day-out me and brings me to that primal fundamental animal that is raw and vulnerable and vibrantly exposed to Him so that He can engage with the essence of me.
His pain strips me down bit by bit to free my wild beast to run on His tight leash.
It brings us closer together than I've ever felt to any person in my life.
It allows us both to feel the full weight of our power exchange and bask in its glory.
It reinforces our trust, faith, and our bond.

There are hundreds of reasons.  Some blatant.  Some subtle.  Some unselfish.  Some extremely selfish.  And everything in between.  But in the end, there is really only one answer that truly articulates it all.

I am His.

Pure and simple.  If that were not fact, truth, reality, I could not share myself in such intimate acts.  For me, masochism isn't simply physical.  It is an emotional, mental, and physical state of total vulnerability.  I am not a pain slut just in need of the stimulus.  It's the D/s and S&m connection that thrives between us that sparks my need for His Dominance and Pain.  I am His pet who suffers willingly and gratefully for Him and for Him alone.
~DominaKat

Friday, December 13, 2013

The Importance of Our Interracial Love

I am in love with a Black Man.

At restaurants, there is no doubt we are a couple.  In the homes of our families and friends we are respected and embraced partners.  We hold hands.  We touch.  Our love is apparent.  Arm and arm we walk blatantly down the broad streets of NYC and the tiny streets that criss-cross Ohio, kissing, laughing, smiling.

I am not naive.  There are some that do not approve of our choice in each other, but we do not hide our relationship or temper our affection to make others more comfortable.  Nor do we have anything to prove.

He is not a trendy fad for me.  He is not a rebellion.  He is not a conquest.  He is my choice.  He is my Man.

I am not a trophy.  I am not a step up.  I am not a denial of His heritage.  I am simply His choice. His soft spot.  His woman.

Are there looks from strangers as we openly demonstrate our love?  Sometimes.  Sure.  Of course.  From white men, white women, black men and black women, old crusty jewish women, and young matching silent couples that don't touch or smile.  However, no stereotypical haters have ever made an issue of us.  No bitter Black Woman has accosted us to rant.  No hostile white man has ever condemned us.  No offended Black Man has railed our choice in each other.  No snotty white woman has spit out vitriol.  No one has ever said a damn thing.  Except once...

Last summer on a very crowded train, humming through the underground tunnels of busy Manhattan, M and I sat side by side.  No one speaks on the subway.  Every New Yorker's eyes automatically glaze over once they find their spot, conserving strength for the next part of their day's journey and simply falling into a dull lull.  That is except for me.  When I'm alone I people watch.  When I'm with M I am focused on Him.  That ride, He was in pain, and my hands were slowly working the knots in His shoulder, bicep, neck, and back.  I soothed.  I rubbed.  I loved on my Man in patient silence, determine to ease Him in any way I could.

After a number of stops the crowd finally shifted, and a good portion of of the riders readied themselves to exit.  The train slowed, and the middle aged white woman standing above me, whose hip would have been directly in my line of sight had I been facing forward, spoke to us.  "Thank you.  That was beautiful.  To watch you love on him this whole time...it made my day."  And with swish of the doors, she was gone.  Her words almost surreal amid the hustle, bustle, and typical remote detachment of NYC's masses.

Maybe I should have been embarrassed, but I wasn't.  I love my Man well, always doing what I can.  M was a bit surprised as nothing like that had ever happened to him before.  But looking back, I'm beginning to understand the importance of that moment and of what we do for each other and the world when M and I hold hands or kiss or laugh a quiet laugh between lovers.

There is no shame in love.  No matter who you love.  Claim your love with pride and respect and all the honor it deserves.  Love is a beacon of light that most wish they could find and hold on to.  Love is a strong, fragile, flame you should nurture and hold high to the world, so that you warm the hearts, minds, and souls of others as well.

Anyone that finds fault with love is a fool.  And I pity them.

I am a white woman, and I proudly love a strong, intelligent, beautiful Black Man.
~DominaKat

Sunday, December 8, 2013

To Feed from My Owner's Hand

I followed His lead.  With no questions, I simply obeyed.  On my knees, face pressed to the sheets still warm from our lazy morning in each other's arms, I waited.  I would accept and give whatever He chose to deliver and take.

In silence He whipped His pet under the last of the morning's quiet rays.  His crop's stinging licks fell like rain over my ass cheeks.  Hot splashes of pain made me whimper and lurch away.  Yet, every time - every fucking time - I rose my ass high in the air again to Him, a physical plea for more and an undeniable show of trust and submission.  I would not shy away from His gift of Dominance and Darkness.  I would take anything He offered.  A scrap or a feast, I feed only from my Owner's hand.

I longed to suffer for Him, to fill His Soul with my sacrifice.  I knelt at His mercy and took each strike until He pulled that sweet masochistic high from my bones and I flew for Him.  In primal lust entwined with delightful pain, M allowed us a moment of freedom to feast on our sweet darkness.

I don't know that I ever find the right words to express the sheer power M has over me or the depth at which He touches me.  I handle it much better than I use to, but still...in moments like this I am still stunned at how completely I am at His mercy emotionally, mentally, and physically.  Time stops when I am with Him.  I know and see nothing but Him.

In truth, I am my Own force to be reckoned with.  I sit at corporate tables and hold my own with ease.  I drive decisions.  I provide insights.  I make shit happen.  I am Lioness who stalks professional goals like prey with delight and precision.  Yet, I am soft and helpless for M in a way no one has seen nor would believe.  I tremble for His slightest touch.  I ferociously protect and guard.  I play with unabashed joy and silliness.  

Quite simply, I find my Home and Harmony in that Man's strong, steady arms.

I wasn't ready to leave when we said goodbye a dozen hours later.  I still had not come down from my submissive high, and the separation wore at me like gravel against my soul.  Yet, even if we'd had time for us both to come completely back down, I wouldn't have wanted to leave.  I never want to leave His side.  

Soon.  I need Home.
~DominaKat

Thursday, December 5, 2013

His Promise

He held my naked body in His arms.
I draped Him in my softness and devotion.
Unhurried, we drank our fill of one another.
And drank some more.
His long strokes down my frame and across my pliant limbs.
I whimpered at His heated touch.
Soaked in every bit of our friction like a thirsty pup.
Every moment.
Every breath.
A sip from the seductive cup of submission.
I was drunk off His slow deliberate affection.

My womb wept tears across my thighs.
Silently waiting.
Needing.
I kissed.
Licked.
Traced.
Held.
Him.
His deep hums were my symphony.
I paid homage to His beautiful Black skin.
His warm chest the soft blanket I nuzzled.
That soft thick fur my oasis.
The only reality that mattered.

His hand crept up to grip the back of my neck.
Somehow He pulled me closer into Him.
My cells rubbed into His to tangle and blend.
The scent of Him sank into my spirit to capture me fully.
His hand gripped my neck with all the strength He had.
In a quiet rumble, tucked away from the world for a moment.
M gave me His promise with the strongest of words.
And He brought me as always to my knees.

You're Mine.
You Belong to Me.
And I Am Never.
Letting.
You.
Go.
Do you understand?

His grip shook me slightly as He waited.
Tears flooded and bled into those dark curly strands that caressed my cheek.
My submission plunged to new depths and I trembled.
Surrounded by Him I fell further in love.
With this Man that I adore beyond words.
On a broken gasp, I answered My Owner the only way I could.
Yes, Sir.
Yes, I understand.
Sealing my fate even further.
My soul more exposed than ever.

Here.
This.
Now.
Curled into His chest.
Utterly vulnerable.
Cherished and protected.
My place.
Within His arms.
My destiny.
I am and forevermore M's.
His love.
His pet.
His.
~DominaKat

Monday, December 2, 2013

His pet

Harmony. Sweet, sexy, fun, tender, dark, deep, glorious harmony. That's what we have. The last two days have been heaven. Thank you M.  You and my Sun and my Moon, Daddy. I'm Yours. 

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Your Soul

Another's words inspired me.  Hers were an ode to Black Men.  Mine are solely for my beautiful Black Man.


I see Your Vibrant Soul
its Fierceness Roars at life.
Your Stamina Defies the World
with a polite Fuck you and
an Adamant and Stoic refusal to give up or give in.
your footsteps Beat their unique Drum that calls me to Dance.
i hear and Willingly follow as you Guide Us on our Journey.
the Colors, Shades, Depths of your soul
have Moved me from my first glimpse at your Tapestry.

You Tangle me in the Complexity of your soul.
and Bind me in the Safety of its titanium velvet Cocoon.
you've granted me Sanctuary and let me curl beneath your soul's sweet Protective shadow
so Close that I can feel its strong Pulse and smell its heady Man scent.
Under you, i want to spend a Lifetime
Tracing every line, shadow, curve, and crevice of your Breath-taking Spirit.
let me Warm your Cold spots with my Breath.
Heal your Bruises with my Tears.
Kiss away those scars of disappointment and sorrow that Lay within it.
be the salve for the aches of your wounds.
Please may I Care for your soul, Nurture it, Feed it, Love it so tenderly?
oh and there...
Yes...there...
I bask in your infectious Joy that springs like a Rainbow on a fresh spring day
as the Sun suddenly Breaks through the clouds.
It Engulfs me until i'm bursting with light.
your soul's Laugh lines reflect the love and Wonder you Harbor so Quietly.
how I Love to Play with you, giggling and jumping through the Magic we share.

i stand Forever in Awe of You.
in You i see a brilliant Star about to Burst from behind a cloudy night sky
to Radiate across your corner of the Sky.
i see a thousand beautiful Possibilities With you.
all surrounded by a deep full Harmony that echoes through the Walls my soul.
i watch as you carry your responsibilities with a Grace and ease few manage
and stay true to the Man of Character and Integrity i've admired
Despite the struggles and hardships you Tackle and Defeat.
with your Tenacious grip you hold Tight to what Matters to you Most.
standing on the Solid foundation of your Honor and Pride you bow to No master and
Define your own Destiny.

i am flawed and human.
I know sometimes i am too Careful too Intense too driven
that I can Think too much
and try Too Hard and be Naive and inquisitive and maybe a Little too Soft.
but You.
you.
you.
You.
are My
imperfect Hero.
my Bumbling efforts are simply my foolish Attempts
to Guard and Protect you in return.
No other comes before you in my Eyes.
i would Slay Dragons demons and beasts for you.
Fight the world for you.
i Kneel at your Feet and Surrender to you my Everything
because your soul Touches the very Root of me.
it is my Rain, Sun, Earth
that surrounds me and give my life Focus and Hope.
my Sole focus.
a True hope.
into you i Pour all that i Am.
because i Never want you to search for more
or Doubt my Intent.

i get Lost sometimes in your soul's loving caress.
The Richness of You overwhelms my Sense and Reason and Strength.
every Promise you've Given me
the Moments we've Shared
every Door you've opened to me
the Dreams we dream Together
Each of those are like brilliant gems you've placed so purposely into my heart.
i Pledge to Protect your Trust and the Gifts that you've bestowed to me
with every Ounce of my Will.
because your Soul
your Love
you
you
You
are my Everything.
~DominaKat

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Penance and Absolution

I wasn't...right.

I could feel the offness of me.
An undeniable call toward an unfamiliar desire.

I couldn't sleep.
My sex cold.
Yet hot skin vibrated.

Need coursed.
Through trembling veins.
Sprung of an aching soul.

There...a tug at that door I kept closed.
Fuck...understanding bloomed.
And knocked me to my knees in shame.
I craved merciless and overwhelming wrath.

My frantic mind longed.
For the silent serenity of my echoing screams.
My tender heart begged
For the sweet bliss of violent cruelty.

I needed to hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt HURT.
Harsh slaps, hair wrenching, groping grabs, and punishing shoves.
I was desperate to wallow helplessly bound in the darkest of darkness.
Where I truly abandoned all control, reason, and sanity.
And gave in to...You.

I wanted to be destroyed at Your fists.
Broken and shattered at Your feet.
A tear stained, bruised mass.
Mindless in the purity of fear and pain.

I hungered for Your most sadistic punishment.
So I could surrender my pain, sorrow, and fear.
To Your ultimate Domination.
I sought to sate You with the deepest of sacrifices.

To sob beg cringe moan bruise plead and bleed for You.
To make amends and offer willing humiliation and agony.
I would have gratefully welcomed Your vicious torment.

I was lost in the haze.
Held hostage that night by my need.
For my submission to be ripped from my soul.

I needed You, M.
Your Beast without restraint.

My penance.
Your absolution.

That's all I craved.
~DominaKat

Monday, November 18, 2013

The Everyday Kinda Thing

It's been almost two years.  I should be use to Him, immune to Him.  But I am anything but.  He still steals my thoughts with a look or a word.  With a touch I'm rendered helpless.  Just watching Him sometimes melts my soul and leaves me speechless. 

I miss Him so fucking much tonight.  We do an incredible job of sharing and communicating and making it all work.  Technology is a wonderful thing.  But so often I simply want to reach out and touch His warmth or smell Him.  To feel His presence near me puts me at complete ease or sends tremors through me in bone deep submission and stark brutal need.  Sometimes both.  Fuck...why pretend.  Nearly all the time both.  My every cell is constantly poised to respond to His darkness.  Even when my submission and sex drive is far away, it takes almost nothing for Him to lure my hungry vicious beast from slumber.  She is His bitch.

But it is not the darkness I ache most for right now.  It is the simple things - the basics of every day.  I want to sleep with the love of my life next to me.  I want to wake up to Him hogging the covers and listen to His hums when I curl onto His chest.  I want to look up from my work and watch Him write, create, and climb His Everest.  I want to bring Him a drink and a sandwich.  I want to argue the news, listen to His day, and match His socks.  I want to lay in His lap and watch a movie.  I want to kneel at His feet and take off His boots when He comes home to me.  I want to rub His back and shoulders and work every ache from His body.  The woman in me simply wants to spend the rest of my life loving my Man and working with Him to make our way in the big bad world.

~sigh~  I know it's coming.  I know I'll be in NYC soon.  Every day we're a little closer.  I am patient.  Tonight I simply ache to be immersed in the everyday kinda love and submission that I share with my M.  The kind that doesn't set the world on fire or send pulses racing but that feeds our souls and brings us sweet peace, comfort, and harmony.  The every day kind that wraps around us like a warm soft blanket as we fall asleep at night.
~DominaKat

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Quick Update

So to alleviate any mystery or gossip...

M and I are very well.  We are both extremely focused on bringing one of M's projects to fruition, so my submissive energy has been very service-oriented.  This evolution has been a very natural addition to our dynamic. I'm discovering new and important aspects to my submission and for the moment dialing back my sexual energy.  There's simply too much energy going in other places right now.  lol  I'm having a love/hate relationship with that adjustment of course.  ;-)

However, this trek of our journey is extremely rewarding.  To serve Him with tangible practical work brings me peace and positive energy.  In many ways it's brought us closer.  We truly do work very well together.  We play off of each others strengths and are easily able to accomplish more together than we could separately, which is always a great sign.

I've got to get back to it, but in summary...I am very much His loyal and loving pet by His side.  ~sigh~
~DominaKat


Friday, November 15, 2013

Evolution & New Depths

We continue to evolve.  To grow together.  To adapt to circumstances.  To merge dreams.  The layers and depth of us continue to expand further than I ever imagined possible.  I've surrendered to Him not simply my body, my heart, and my soul but my future as well.  All that I am is in His hands.  I have nothing left that I do not give freely at his request.

The woman, the little girl, the warrior, the slut, and now even Alfred and Spock follow Him.  They are all His to nurture and command and deny as He desires.  I am utterly defenseless.  I have held nothing back.  My strengths are His to wield.  My weaknesses are His to protect.  To serve so completely by His side, not hidden in the cold shadows, brings me a serenity and joy that warms me and melts even the frozen reaches of my soul.
~DominaKat



Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Enraged White Woman Who Loves Her Strong Intelligent Black Man

M's most recent post got me started...

Tell me please...how the FUCK do the leaders and citizens of this country constantly do NOTHING in the face of the continual proof that there is a fucking target on the back of people of color in the home of the brave and land of the free?!?

Renisha McBride - 19
Johnathan Ferrell - 24
Trayvon Martin - 17

All unarmed.
All dead.
For no other reason than they weren't white and were in the wrong neighborhoods at the wrong time.

REALLY?!?  Has this country learned nothing in the last 50 years?  What the fuck are you white men so fucking afraid of???  Please...explain it!  Face it.  Own it.  Admit it!  Look in the mirror and say, "I'm a coward and afraid of Black men and woman for no reason then the color of their skin and am therefore a stupid, racist fuckhead."  Every senseless inexcusable death of a Black Man or woman is another vicious lash across the backs of a community simply still trying to survive in the brutal and inhospitable land of America the beautiful.

I am a white woman, without question I love my strong, intelligent, beautiful Black Man, and I am unapologetically enraged.  He is my sun and moon, my center in a world falling in on itself.  He has never been to prison.  He doesn't even have a fucking traffic ticket.  He is the best damn Man I know!  Yet, I understand that an unacceptable percentage of this country's people, see his mere presence as some kind of unarticulatable threat.  I know without a doubt that every time he steps his foot outside of his front door that He is at risk from trigger happy police, racist pigs, and now fools raising their "Stand Your Ground" flag.

Why as a nation aren't we disgusted and enraged at these stories?  Why isn't there a National War on Racism?  Why isn't someFUCKINGthing being done by our leaders, our communities, and ourselves to make things right?

Because everyday, this woman fears for her Man and is grateful when he returns home safe.  Every day it seems, I am saddened by another soul lost to a system and society that turns it's back on those  continued to be victimized.  Every day, I wonder if there is still even a flicker of hope for this country.
~DominaKat

Friday, November 8, 2013

That Fundamental Fucking Need

I want to be fucked ruthlessly with a harsh, brutal Dominance wrapped in pain and violence that leaves me no fucking question as to who and what I am in your life.  That leaves no doubt to me or any other god damn soul about the passion and lust which burns like an inferno in you for me.

No.  I don't just want.  I need that.  Like the air I fucking breathe.  I need to be beaten, tired up, controlled, and used like a $2 fucking whore, a gutterslut that will fuck, suck, take whatthefuckever sadist nastiness you can conjure.  Make me beg, cry, and squirt cum until the air reeks of my whorish lust.  The holes between my thighs are made to be taken and filled.  Your long fingers plunging and hard demanding BLACK dick is what they fucking scream for with an unending relentlessness that echos continually through my soul.  RIP into my hot, wet sloppy meat and TAKE.

There lives a submissive starving beast in me that is caged and damn near rabid from being denied, put away, and ignored my whole fucking life.  This isn't about love.  This isn't about poetry.  This isn't about fucking hope or joy or light.  It's about fucking raw primal freedom to drip in the razor's edge of darkness and madness with a equally dark Beast that wants nothing more than to fucking feast on the forsaken corrupt soul of the insatiable nasty fucking whore that I am. It is my base-calling and desire to be Owned with a collar and leash to guide and control my descent into that violent vicious pit of hedonistic sin.  This is about a necessity so motherfucking fundamental to my existence that it is my lifeblood.  Without it...I am half crazed and barely fucking alive.  My beast howls to be mounted by a monster strong enough to tame and conquer my sick, twisted lust.

My heaving fat utters to suck, punch, grope, and bind.  Quivering, wide-open, shameless thighs beg to be stained with piss and punishment.  My starving slut mouth craves dickmeat on her tongue and down her greedy throat.  My eager cunt hungers to suck down an angry dick, a punishing fist, or the cold filthy girth of a fucking bat with equal abandon.  My puckered tight asshole eagerly hungers to be impaled with no mercy and filled with hot sticky nut.

I was meant to be a slave to a Man's sadistic lust.  I was born to milk a Man dry until He is unequivocally sated beyond measure.  The inner beast that stalks my soul and roars for freedom exists solely to be YOUR BEAST'S fucking plaything and endless victim.

Hunt me.
Prey on me.
Use me.
Devour me.
Claim me.
Destroy me.
Tame me as only You can.
~DominaKat

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Forever

"I'm never letting you go."

"Always."

"Forever."

Yeah...Those weren't words I could fathom in any way over a year ago.

I come from a long line of women who love hard and true.  When I look at the women in my family, there is no question of our strength, our tenacity, and the ferocity with which we love our Men.  I've SEEN countless examples of "always" and "forevers."  Grandparents and aunts and uncles that had held onto their true loves for generations.  Yet at 40, my life had only taught me again and again that no one and nothing was forever - that kind of magic wasn't something I would be lucky enough to find.  What I understood so clearly was that no matter what someone said, their actions would always prove their lack of intention, conviction, and character.  ~shrug~

Reality is what it is.  No matter how hard I tried, the world didn't make men for me like that any more.  In the land of ADD, disposable-everything, and easy, slick, ego-boosting internet connections, the only "forever" I knew was that I'd be forever be let down and let go no matter how great I was, smart I was or well I fucked.  Every man was simply temporary and false promises and dreams.  What I knew my heart and mind were capable of was a throw back to a different time and place.  It was the kind of love and devotion that today only love stories and movies paint.

Last summer as our relationship grew, M kept repeating words like "always" and "forever" to me.  I'd explain quietly without any malice or drama that those words weren't necessary.  He didn't have to promise.  He didn't have to make grand gestures.  Quite frankly I did NOT have any desire to foolishly trust so completely.  I desperately wanted to hold onto some small, thin blanket of cynical realistic protection, so my heart would never be at risk of shattering into a thousand broken shards of destroyed hope, joy, and love. I was falling for this Man so deeply and already so fucking vulnerable that I didn't want to let go of that last little defense.

I fought Mark.  I tried so hard not to believe.  I pushed back.  I tried to escape.  I denied Him my faith in our tomorrows.  Until one evening, with tears streaming down my face and His passionate and adamant demand ricocheting in my mind, my heart, and yes...my soul, He finally broke down my resistance and forced me to see and believe in Him.

"You are MINE."
"Those three words say everything."
"They are the truth."
"I am NEVER letting you fucking go."
"Do you understand?"

And He - my Owner, my Daddy, my M, my Man - finally gave me what no living soul had ever given me.

He gave me His forever.
~DominaKat



Forever
Not talkin' 'bout a year
No not three or four
I don't want that kind of forever
In my life anymore
Forever always seems
to be around when it begins
but forever never seems
to be around when it ends
So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do From you

People spend so much time
Every single day
Runnin' 'round all over town
Givin' their forever away
But no not me
I won't let my forever roam
and now I hope I can find
my forever a home
So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do
From you

Like a handless clock with numbers
An infinite of time
No not the forever found
Only in the mind
Forever always seems
to be around when things begin
but forever never seems
to be around when things end
So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do
From you

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

To Hold Sacred

I've always been passionate and held some deep convictions.  However, I've never held much, if anything, sacred.  I'm too practical, too realistic, and well...a bit cynical.  I never felt connected enough to anyone or anything to inspire that kind of devotion, belief, and faith.  That emotional and mental concept was simply lost on me.

But in February 2012, I met M.  Two months and hours of texts, emails, and conversations later, I was in His arms and His.  What followed has been the most enlightening, heart-stopping, and challenging relationship of my life.  He has truly transformed me so fundamentally that anyone who sees or speaks to me can instantly sense the change.  From the beginning, I knew He and our relationship would transform me.  What I didn't understand was that my transformation would ever be ongoing.

I'm no saint. In fact, I fuck up often.  I have had challenges and struggles and doubts and fears and hard difficult lessons to learn through trial and error just like every other sub, woman, or human being on this planet.  My intelligence and drive to understand at times makes me a challenge most can not even dare to attempt.  I've made my mistakes.  I've hurt myself.  I've even to my greatest sadness hurt M.  I've had moments of brattiness, topping from below, and complete ignorance.  However my two sole focuses - to give/please/serve Him and to build us - have never wavered nor has my intention.  Those have always been and will be pure.  I love that Man.

I've had to face some tough reality the last month and make choices that I never expected to make less than two years ago.  But when I looked closely at my options, I found that without question, my relationship with M was sacred.  I would do whatever it took to protect and nurture what we share.  I would find the strength and courage to be the best me I could be for Him.

I saw truths I didn't want to see and have begun to make my way beyond their crippling traps.

I bravely faced a past that haunted me deeply and the fears associated with those events head on.  I found the courage to seek understanding.  I found the strength to forgive and let go.

I accepted that life's journey is not easy or fair or mapped out clearly but what will lead me to the greatest rewards is what I hold sacred. If I embrace my love, devotion, and faith in M, in His love for me, and in our belief in us, then I will find my way.  If we both embrace those rare  treasures between us, WE will find our way.  I never want to look back again and say if only I had....  I don't want someday to face my mortality and realize all I ever did was play it safe and gained nothing.

I wish it was fucking easy every minute of the day.  But it's not.  Life, relationships, growth...they are at times the most difficult, demanding, and earth-shatteringly rewarding things we can aspire to undertake.  For M, I will fight any battle life throws at us, I will get up off the mat again and again and again for us, and I will swallow every bit of pride necessary to grow.  Because in the end, Him and what we could be is what I - Ms. Ever-Practical-Cynical-Realist - hold truly, deeply, purely sacred.
~DominaKat

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Tempted to Dream

With whispered cruelty
And teasing brushes against
Fevered white skin
The sleeping slut stirred
A soft broken moan
Born of whimpered remembrance
She trembled
Tempted by dark dreams of
Promised pain and violent indulgence
A humbled whore's submission
Beneath a sadistic Beast's brutal desires

Soft breasts hang heavy and sway
Legs spread with need even in sleep
Holes ache to be fed
Reaching toward filthy dark cravings
Wanting to wake on the echo of a scream
Impaled with undeniable hot hardness
To choke on His grip's firm squeeze
The slut wrestled against the tentacles
Of her deep slumber
To rise once again as His victim and beg
In tears and desperate fear

She fails.

Unable to break away and find freedom
From the last barbs of her drowsy spell
The dream of darkness fades
Her craved wicked release
Lost in the mist beyond reach
With weeping need evident
Between warm willing thighs
Her heartbeat slows on a regretful sigh
She surrenders the fight and simply falls
Under the weight of that empty sleep
Filled with broken dreams of blissful capture
~DominaKat

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Business as Usual - Part 1

The corporate executive.  Calm, cool, and focused.  My mind hummed as I played with the puzzles of business and laid out tomorrow's presentation to the client's board of directors.  "We'll maximize the return on the investment.  It's an integrated plan to leverage our assets and resources."  Experience left me confident and in control as I spent the day directing my teams, wooing potential clients, and coordinating projects.  No hint surfaced of the dark personal life I led outside of the office.  My co-workers, clients, and staff saw only the strong, competent, yet oddly unique woman who was polite, determined, and calmly efficient - in charge of her projects and team.

When my day was over and the last calls made, I left that world behind.  And I returned to Him.

The crisp, professional business woman I am during the day came through the door with her briefcase and files, wrapping up the last of my calls.  He was already there.  I sighed silently always relieved to feel His presence close.   He looked up from the mail, and His gaze dragged over me from head to toe.  A pressed, fitted, button-down grey blouse toned down my heavy tits and hid ring-pierced fat nipples.  A conservative straight skirt semi-masked a fat ass and thick thighs.  Nude nylons played down my long legs.  Traditional black unadorned pumps purposely mislead the casual observer.  Though M was never a casual observer when it came to me.  He placed the mail on the counter and walked toward me as I rattled off further instructions for tomorrow's project meeting.

I smiled warmly in greeting and patiently answered my young assistant's question.  His gaze met mine.  I watched as He searched my face for something.  His hand grazed my jaw, and a tickle of warmth bloomed under my skin in the wake of His touch.  I stumbled a tad and refocused, trying to finish my thought.  Without warning, His hand firmly squeezed my throat cutting off my words.  My eyes snapped to His.  There I found His darkness brewing in Him.  Slowly He stepped me backwards to the door, I'd just closed.  My assistant's voice buzzed between us.  "Are you there?  Did I loose you?  Damn elevators... Hello?"  M reached up and took the phone from my hand, pressing "End" and powering down without a care.

"You're mine now."  He looked into my eyes.  "Understood?"  I nodded, unable to speak as I gasped for air.  "Very good."  His grip relented, and I frantically sucked in much needed oxygen.  "You had a productive day?"

I took one more cleansing breath and began to shift my weight from the door, "Yes, tomorrow's meet...." A harsh slap met my cheek.

"I said, 'You're mine now, pet."  His hand brushed my cheek and eased the sting before dropping again to His side.  "I didn't say move," he calmly explained. "And I've decided right now I could care less about your office or your meeting.  You've been planning for months and you said last night everything was ready, correct?"  I nodded.  "Good," he continued with a darkening glaze, "Now I want to play with my fucking dog."  I whimpered and closed my eyes as heat snaked rapidly through my veins.  With a dark whisper, he began my controlled descent toward the darkness we both coveted.  "Raise your arms above your head, pet."

I obeyed.  The cool, calm business woman dismissed without question from my mind.  His gaze raked over my body in assessment.  "Lush bitch.  They don't even have a clue what a slut you are for me, do they?"

"No, Sir," I breathed.

His hands seized hold of my tingling breasts.  I gasped and arched into His touch.  "And such a fucking eager slut."  His fingertips ground into the soft mounds.  I moaned, so grateful to feel His demanding touch.  He released them and with a tug tore my blouse apart.  Buttons shattered at His will.  I groaned uncaring.  I loved His greed for me.  His fingers pinched the center snap of my bra and suddenly my tits were blessedly free.  The cool air teased them.  I whimpered at the sudden transition.  My nipples beaded instantly in need, begging for Him.  "Mmmmm...the lush curves of my fucktoy." Patiently He slapped at the undersides of each breast causing them to bounce for His entertainment. Again and again.  Each assault harsher than the last.  I tried to remain still, but soon I began to jump then whither with the raps of His knuckles.  I could feel the juices begin to slip through the folds of my cunt.   Soon my breasts were flushed, and I was panting.

"Do I have your complete attention now?"  I nodded quickly.  "Good"  With His thumbs and forefingers His attention focused on my plump nipples and their rings.  I moaned quietly, conscious of the door behind me.  He pressed Himself into me letting me feel His thickening dick.  My womb responded instinctively seeking completion.  Gentle kisses trailed across my cheek and neck leaving me so sweetly unbalanced following the pain of moments ago.  

I whimpered, "M..." A slap to the bulging flesh of one breast as he continued to drag His lips across my skin.

"Shut the fuck up, pet," He whispered between more tender little kisses.  I whimpered at the delicious dominance, and tears threatened at the razor sharp contrasts of light and dark that He intentionally laid over me.  My fists clenched above my head overriding my inherent urge to wrap my arms around Him.  His hands stroked the outside of my thighs.  He began to gather my skirt.  Inch by inch he raised the hem.  Once the full length was in His fists He pushed the conservative black material to my waist.  I flushed in embarrassment at the boring nude pantyhose covering my body.  "There now," He cooed to His pet.  "Spread those sweet thighs, you thick whore."

I shuffled my feet and dutifully opened my thighs.  I bowed my head and closed my eyes feeling ashamed to be caught in such boring underthings that were never meant to seduce my Owner like I should.  "You'd be the perfect little corporate executive if you'd been wearing panties," His fingers teased the dampening seam of my pantyhose.  "Hmmmm...such a nice juicy piece of meat,"  He hummed as He kissed my ear.   "All day, just begging to be fucked and beat beneath that proper skirt and blouse, weren't you?"

I whimpered softly, acknowledging the truth between us.  "Yes, Sir."

"I can smell your lust, pet. How badly you ache for me."  Another dark hum sent shivers down my spine.  "It makes me fucking hungry."

My hips began to instinctively grind against His torturous teasing.  Ever His whore, I sought more.  He laughed at my obvious need.  "Such a horny little dog, aren't you?"  He rewarded my behavior with a violent slap between my legs that damn near made me cum without permission.  I bit my lip as tears leaked from my closed lids.  "Don't fucking move, bitch."  I raised my heavy lids as I felt Him step away.  I sucked in a jagged breath and tried not to succumb to the trembling that threatened my body.  I watched as M moved so calmly across the entry way and through the kitchen to the counter.  He turned back at me and smiled wickedly before pulling one of the sharp knives from the butcher block.

"Fuck..." I whispered in awe and some small trickle of fear.

His thumb caressed the blade as He calmly returned to me.  I watched transfixed.  No words could even form in my mind.  His empty hand took a hold of my jaw, and His confident intense gaze met my helpless stare.  "Don't move, pet.  Understood?"

"Yes, Sir." I breathed.

I felt the cool flat edge of the knife lay gently against my cheek.  Slowly He drew the blade down my neck and across my breasts.  His eyes never leaving His point of contact.  I tried not to breathe.  Down my abdomen I could feel the steel press against my skin threatening to leave a cut in its wake.  When the metal met the waistband of my pantyhose, M pulled it away.  "Very good girl.  Such an obedient dog."  I dragged in a desperate gulp of air just as He released my jaw to grasp at snug waistband of my pantyhose.  "Keep your back against the door, bitch."  He pulled the satiny material away from my skin, and I heard the knife slice through the material just above my mound.  My pussy trembled and a flood of dampness filled His cunt hole.  I could feel the blade moving closer and closer to my throbbing clit and heavy folds as the material gave way.

M knelt in front of spread thighs.  Carefully His slid the knife to rip the taut fabric and expose His meat.  I felt cool metal slip through my folds.  "Sir!" I whimpered feeling the impending explosion.  "Sir...please?!?  Oh god, M?!?"

He rose and assessed His work, ignoring my pleas.  I panted.  My body shook.  My thighs visibly trembled.  "You liked the knife. Didn't you, pet?"  I couldn't answer.  Tears simply fell  as I tried to grasp at my slipping control.  "I love seeing my property on fucking display."  I watched Him cooly observe my frantic need before His empty hand reached out to pull back my skin and expose my angry, needy clit.  His sadistic dark stare told me how dark He felt and that my Beast was raging.  "You want to cum, bitch?"

"Yes...PLEASE, SIR!!!"

When I felt the blade tickle my clit, I choked back my scream of raw need.  "Cum, my nasty little dog."  On command, my orgasm burst from me like a dam.  Juice splattered to the tile floor and across M's shoes.  Wave after wave ripped through me as I tried desperately not to move.  Suddenly He was pressed against my side, His face eye to eye with mine.  I no longer felt hard steel but His fingers as they tore through my folds and dug into His hot, sopping, pulsing hole.  "Again, bitch!" He growled.  He pounded into me forcing another violent messy orgasmic gush and another.  My hips rode His hand.  I growled.  I whimpered.  I gasped.  My ass banged against the door.  I didn't fucking care who heard.  I didn't care about a fucking thing.  I simply fucked my Owner's hand like a good dog and came like the bitch in heat I was.
~DominaKat

Under Him

I fucking love when He holds me down.

It doesn't matter what mood we are in - light, silly and playful with my Daddy; my Owner feeling dark, dominant, and in absolute control; my vicious cruel Beast and His sweet wicked pain - when I am under him, held down in my place a certain fundamental part of me simply curls contentedly into place with a sigh of blissful peace.  Yes, this feels so fucking good.

Controlled.  Restrained.  Submission.  The weight of Him comforts me and makes me feel secure.  This.  This is where He wants me, needs me, craves me.  Under Him.  His heat washes over me.  That little bite of His hands on my forearms is an emotional and mental kiss of physical reassurance as the bruises bloom at His touch.

His.  Held down.  In my place.  Daddy plays and tickles His little girl to fits giggles and glee and sweet warm kisses.  My Owner's firm tug of the leash guiding His loyal, obedient pet toward her pure submission through pleasure so intense I helplessly cum on His command.  My dark sadistic Beast feasting on his willing victim's pleads, tears, and oh so cherished pain.  ~sigh~

Being held down is the most basic of D/s positions.  It never gets old.  It never gets boring.  It never fails to feed my submission.  I NEED those moments like I need air to breathe.  Laying in His bed, being under M this weekend...was sheer unquantifiable joy.  I live for those moments with Him.
~DominaKat

Friday, October 11, 2013

On My Way

On my way once again to M. :-) Just to be in His arms again will be such a relief. He grounds me like nothing else, and after the last 2 weeks, I definitely need a lil grounding. 

This visit I'll be meeting His Mom. Gotta admit...I'm nervous. ~sigh~ I'm ctossing my fingers that everything will go smoothly. I can't say that I've ever had any mother's approval in my life, so my biggest hope is that she just doesn't hate me. 

However this seems to be my week of Mom's. I spent a mini-vacation with my fantastic Mom and toured a little of the shore. A Mom that has hated me for 20+ years and never really spoken to me called me. We chatted for a half hour and in parting she said she loved me. Yeah...she's a lil out there. And this weekend M's Mom. So...

Wish me luck! :-)
~DominaKat

Friday, October 4, 2013

The Quirky Stuff that Becomes the Norm

LOL It is sometimes the small quirky things that show me in fresh light how very head over heels I am for M.  Those things I would have once thought, "Naaaaa...can't see where I would ever have a reason to do that."  But here I am - in this time, place, and headspace - and these things come as natural as a fat kid eating cake.  Or almost... ;-P

  • Not only is the NYC subway map a bookmark on my Air, but I just downloaded an app for it as well.  I'm getting acquainted with my Daddy's city on more than just a passing-through-tourist level.
  • In fact there are a number of new bookmarks because of M.  When we're in the middle of a discussion we need background data fast.  Neither of us like to guess.
  • I cheer for and cuss at the Dallas Cowboys.  I may even need to get my own shirt.   Well...maybe I could wear Browns colors if I get to do any game watching with M this year.  Hehehe
  • I went to see the #$%@?*^! movie.  Yeahhhhhh...I NEVER saw THAT one coming!  That one I may have resisted a bit.  
  • I eat popcorn at the theater.  Only a few handfuls though!
  • I attempt to find fashionable athletic shoes.  Seriously...I have some kind of blind spot when it comes to this kind of shoes/clothing item.  Heels, dresses, jeans, tops, etc...I have no problem finding flattering, fashionable styles.  But I can NOT for the life of me seem to find "cute" tennis shoes.  The entire concept escapes me, and everyone tells me my tennis shoes suck.  I've never really cared about what they looked like simply because I saw them as a practical need not a fashion statement.  Now I try to find something decent.  I just continue to miss the mark completely.  
None of those feel odd to me anymore.  I may not do them well.  I may not do them gracefully.  But the source and drive to do them feels perfectly in synch with my life.  I suppose my point is that I'm discovering that the level of intimacy established in my D/s relationship with M extends beyond being His pet and submissive into Kat.  Vanilla pieces are influenced just as much as kinky.  While that would have intimidated me a few years ago, I simply enjoy the transformation and the new things on the horizon.
~DominaKat

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Learning to Love Again with the Help of D/s

For a very long time and for numerous reasons, I was afraid to love.  I know I love hard and deep.  The few times I had even let myself go near that emotion, I had been burned badly.  To be so vulnerable that someone could hurt me deeply and leave another scar on my battered soul was not something I was willing to risk.  I deliberately allowed very, very few people close to me and chose to keep people and the very few sexual partners I engaged with at a distance.  My last relationship from the beginning had always had boundaries.  That's how I chose to structure things.  In fact he was never welcome at my home even though we were involved for two years.  We met on neutral territory only.  That mental and emotional distance kept me safer.

When that relationship ended, and I began to get REAL honest with myself as part of my journey with BDSM, I finally admitted to myself that I was at a point where the pain and emptiness of that life was greater than my fear of true intimacy.  In my soul I longed to be owned fully.  Truly.  Completely.  To one I could proudly submit myself to.  Because of that bone-deep ache and longing to belong, I finally found the courage to look for and expect something real and meaningful.

I was so very blessed to find M.  But even after M and I began to unravel the puzzle of one another and build our D/s dynamic, I had to be very intentional in opening myself up to Him completely.  Emotionally He would leave me shaking even before we ever met.  He scared the shit out of me!!!! lol  I could see and feel our potential - everything we could be - but the fear of vulnerability still stalked me.  At times I had to fight the sheer instinct to close myself up tight and not withdraw.  I had to be brave enough to reach for the beautiful possibilities with Him and not cling to my fear.

Our growing D/s dynamic helped me so very much.  First was the depth of communication that enabled us to slowly build a strong foundation of mutual trust, respect, patience (His patience more than mine) and the abundance of love and caring.  On one level I fought my fear with the logic of all of those building blocks.  I could see and feel the evidence of all of those things from Him and between us.  On another level I simply lead with my soul and the faith in what we could be and what I felt with Him.  I can't really explain it. But I needed the strength of His Dominance to feel safe enough to submit and let myself love. I need His absolute need/desire to Own me to feel like I belonged and that it was safe enough to allow myself to be vulnerable. When the emotional and mental D/s leash is tight...I'm comforted and feel secure to be at my most vulnerable and submissive.  To open up and let Him have every bit of me.

All my life, I knew I needed someone to demand just the right way that I open up my heart and soul.  I couldn't explain and honestly, I never wanted to explain.  If they didn't have what it took - if it wasn't instinctual - there was no possibility they would ever be able to reach deep inside me and to tame my soul.  With M, He knew what I needed and found in me what He longed to possess.  Now I am His loyal, cherished pet.  Together we found magic, and I found the strength and courage to love that wonderful Man like He deserves.  I can't lie though.  Occasionally, there are still whispers of that fear of vulnerability, but with M's help I continue to destroy those last remnants.

Building a good, healthy D/s relationship with M has forced my fears and insecurities closer to the surface for us to resolve.  It has required a raw truth with one another and myself in order to maximize the D/s potential between us.  It's not simply about the kinky sexual darkness we practice.  The mental and emotional aspects of our D/s very much go soul deep and expose all - good and bad - to each other, but that depth of intimacy is truly, truly exquisite.  :-)
~DominaKat

Monday, September 23, 2013

My Truth

For so long, all I knew was struggle and the fight.  Somehow, I've been blessed.  So very blessed.  Because with Him I can shed my heavy armor and lay down my battered weapons.  I don't have to be armed to the hilt or ready to defend and protect.  With Him...I can simply be.  Curled at His feet more vulnerable than ever before, I find a peace, a contentment, a rightness so strong in His Dominance, my submission and our fierce love.

With His patience and firm grip as my guide, I had to find the courage and the faith to submit completely to Him.  I gave Him my mind, my body, and my heart.  In the end, I gave to Him my soul.  Old habits vanquished.  Demons destroyed.  I had to fight the last battles with myself to find myself within His shadow where I am protected, nurtured, and cherished.  My submission to M gives me a freedom I've never felt.  To serve.  To please.  To give.  Him.  Without defense or fear.  I am His.

Together we find balance - our Harmony.  Together we celebrate our joys and victories as well as fight through our struggles and challenges.  No Man has ever held my hand so tight and made me feel so safe.  He is where I belong.  Ever at His side.  Together...we can tackle anything and come out stronger.  I believe in Him.  I believe in myself.  I believe in us.  Yesterday.  Today.  Tomorrow.
~DominaKat


Sunday, September 22, 2013

My Submission Is...


My submission is...

A choice.
An instinct.
A gift.
A treasure.

A fragile flower.
That blooms when nurtured.
A wild irrepressible fire.
Only He can stoke.

My submission is...

Patience.
Intention.
Letting go.
Freedom.

The place at His feet.
I thought I'd never find.
His right.
To do as He pleases.

My submission is...

Fierce.
Absolute.
Fragile.
Always His.

The ultimate in vulnerability.
My strength and courage.
A flame that longs to burn bright and hot.
My only answer.

My submission is...

Obedience.
Trust.
Loyalty.
Faith.

A tide that ebbs and flows.
The seductive dance He leads.
A wave He can push at whim to flood my soul.
The essence of all that is me.
~DominaKat

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Dark Souls

How Dark,
Might we indulge?

Not become.
For Dark is what we are.

Tears and laughter.
Our symphony on the wind.

Will You stalk my blackest shadows?
And toy with my twisted fantasies.
As I beg.
Cling humbly to You.
Broken and battered at your feet.

Will You drag me into Your inky sin?
And taste my salty tears.
As You destroy what you love.
And feed our primal and brutal hungers.
Even the darkest not spoken.

Seize without mercy Your cherished victim.
Meld our passion to make us whole.
And set free our twisted souls.

Will You fuck me to destruction?
And devour my screams.
Bound, gagged, and helpless.
Manipulated.
By Your vicious need.

Will You crush me beneath Your will?
Will You unleash Your greedy fury?
Will You lead me where the light does not fucking reach?
Please...Sir...
Let us gorge on our brutal lust.

Cruelest pain transformed to undeniable pleasure.
As sadism licks and lashes.

A matched pair in dark harmony.
Pure within our sweet vicious madness.

Yes…just how Dark,
Might we indulge?
~DominaKat

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Slutty Symptoms

Do the rest of you sluts ever have moments where you realize, "Wow...I really just can't help it.  I am naturally just a slut." even in the most subtle ways?  Yes, yes..we all love to choke on our Men's beautiful dicks.  Yes, yes...we'll pull up our skirts where ever and when ever He desires.  Nope...we never get enough of Him.  Nope...panties are not required.  lol  Those hallmarks of our sluttiness  - while they are some of the pride and joy we take in our endeavors - are not what I'm referring to in in this post.  I'm talking about things you may not realize you do but are truly tied to that slut always seeking satisfaction.  For example...

I realized yesterday that I can't keep my legs closed without serious conscious thought and effort.  I had no flippin' idea it was that hard!!!  While at work, I went through my standard protocol for permission from M.  He told me "No" this time and that I had to "wait" which of course being a little tug on my leash rendered me a a bit needy (AKA damp) as usual, so I asked permission to spread my legs wide and push my aching cunt onto my office chair.  Again, he told me no and then proceeded to order me to keep them tightly closed. 

Holy crap that was difficult if not damn near impossible!  The weird feeling I had when I did it initially didn't quite register.  I simply obeyed.  Then I proceeded to get back to work, but every time I would relax, my legs would naturally spread.  I'd close and tighten up again.  Over and over and over this happened.  The outside of my thighs literally began to ache from the position!  

Now I could excuse this phenomena by saying that my long ass legs don't fit well under most desks and tables.  I could blame that I'm lucky enough to be able to wear jeans at work.  I could point out that I have a private office which allows me a bit more latitude.  However none of those reasons would explain away that as I would relax I would also arch my back and shift my posture so that my pussy would be in direct contact with the friction of the chair.  The same damn thing happened today even without any M-related encouragement/mindfuck.  Even unexcited with my mind focused on the daily grind of work, I would naturally always shift into a position of direct cunt contact.  It seems those fat lips and tight little clit are always looking for pleasure...oh I meant...pressure!  Ummm...yeah....so...

My slutty symptoms would definitely fail me in a Ms. Proper Manners class.  Emily Post would likely take a ruler to me!  And not the good kind.  Hehehe

Now let me at least say that I can keep my legs close if I can cross my legs.  But again, with my long limbs that's nearly impossible under a desk or chair.  ~sigh~  What's a slut to do?

So I'm going to try to pay attention to any other slutty symptoms I may unconsciously do.  

My slutty friends, anything I should watch out for?  

Dom/Master/Owners, any other behaviors you pick up on that may indicate a natural slut?

M's Slut,
~DominaKat

Saturday, August 31, 2013

My Celebration of My Curves

Ya know what...I am o-fuckin'-k with my woman-ness.  When I have the opportunity...

Yes, I accentuate my assets.

My heavy DD tits. 
My curved waist. 
My fat plump ass.
My long thick legs.

Mine. Mine. Mine.
My pieces and parts.
That allow me to mark.
That F box.

I am a woman.

I am the shape, size, texture that I am.
Lush, sensual, sexual.
A ripe juicy peach to devour.
My nectar quenches His thirst.

I am a woman a Man can feast from.

I celebrate my curves.
Without fucking shame.
With no embarrassment.
I am proud of my dips and hills.

A v-neck.
Those tight hugging jeans.
A top that clings.
That dress that teases.

I am a woman.
His woman.

A mother.
An insatiable sexual vixen.
Her daughter.
His soft spot to land.

I am a goddess who serves her Man.

I will not hide my tits, my ass or my fullness.
To make anyone comfortable.
I will not conceal my PG exhibitionism.
And make myself less so others can swallow.

Fuck that.

My bursting breasts.
The shake of my ass.
A curve that begs to be gripped.
Flesh and bone feminity.

I am a WOMAN.

Others may catch a glimpse of my soul.
I don't fucking care.
My shape hints at truths untold.
That they will never experience.

I do woman things.
Suck and swallow His hard cock.
Spread my thick thighs for His sadistic entertainment.
Get on all fours to offer Him my holes.

I drool and pant and squirt.
Submit and surrender.
Cry out in passion and pain.
I want Him to ravish my quivering body.

Yes!
I am THAT woman.

And I fucking love her.
~DominaKat

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Actions Speak So Clearly

He tried to surprise me and get to me early. Considering M hates mornings just as much as I do...
Yeah...that wonderful Man loves me.

He wrapped His arms around me so tight and we just held on to one another. A hundred people must have walked, ran, rode, skated, rolled and scooted by us. We were oblivious.
I could feel how much He loves me.

He kept taking my clumsy, a-bit-too-heavy bag.
My amazing Daddy protects His little girl.

He took me to Apple cult-ville.  Not once, but twice.  Well...three depending on how you count. lol
Yep, yep...boy, does that sexy, geeky Man love me.  Hehehe

He let me love on Him without a thought to who watched.
That strong Man is proud of His woman.

He held my hand for miles.
Yes...my Owner loves to hold my leash.

He brought me to his family's home.
I still can't get over how very, very much He loves and trusts me. 

He gently tended my wound and so carefully placed that bandaid on my heel.
Damn, my Owner so cherishes His pet.

He hid the truth from me.  I didn't realize how bad He felt.  But all day, He took me around His vibrant, fantastic city and showed me her wonders.
~whimper~  While I am still a bit mad, my Man - that stubborn, strong, persistent, warm, giving Man - loves me to pieces and will do His best to give me the world.

I look back on my too short trip to NYC and see a thousand little moments that will forever be seared into my mind.  I see every step.  I feel His warmth.  I hear His voice and deep chuckle.  I taste the sweet salt of His skin.  I feel Him next to me...holding me as I soaked in every marvel He laid at my feet.
Without question, I am absolutely in love with my dear irreplacable M.
~DominaKat

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

to Love a man

To love a Dom, an Owner, a Master, a Man is not a always a simple task.  No matter whether it's a D/s or vanilla journey, loving Him is not simply a heady flight filled with beautiful views and thrilling adventure.  There's turbulence and sudden drops and course corrections.  Because that Dom/Owner/Master is still a Man.

Even in the best of Men, there are long days when He'll be wonderful, and there will be those moments when He is a cranky bear and nothing you can say or do will push away that mood.  Sick, tired, disheartened, frustrated...those are human emotions that even the ones we love and embrace a D/s dynamic with will feel at some point, and as the woman who loves Him, you hold on and do your best to help Him find His way back to that sweet harmony of life.

An Owner or Dom, for all His wisdom and all the miles He'll lead surely, will get lost once and a while and take you the long way or let the leash grow lax as He gets His bearings.  That's the life of a Man - any and every Man.  To love Him is to hang on to patience and to alert Him when you see a possible way out.  But most of all, it is to stay by His side in loyalty to be there in comfort, strength, and reassurance when the journey doesn't go as planned.

To love a Man is to love Him not only when He gets it so fucking right it makes you cry in joy and happiness, but to love Him when He makes an error and goes a little too far or falls short.  Love isn't dependent on perfection.

That strong, intelligent, passionate Man is human and will have moments when strength can't be found or He fucks up or His life well is simply a bit dry.  He'll fart, leave a mess, be an occasional dick, or miss an opportunity for encouragement.  Loving a dream or a fantasy is never a good idea because no matter how much you admire, adore, believe, and love that capital letter, the reality is that those titles are bestowed on men.  Flawed, complicated, simple, normal REAL, beautiful men.

To love a Man is to see the man - your man - in all His glory and His challenges and to love the sum of all that He is...the sexy, affectionate Titles, the Man, and most of all...the man.
~DominaKat

Friday, August 16, 2013

NYC Bound

~whimper~  In about 24 hours, I'll be in M's arms again.  This time I'm going to the delicious energy and funk of NYC where I'll spend about a day and a half with my hand in His or curled up snuggly in His warmth and love.  I can't wait!!!  While the butterflies don't beat as frantically with nervousness as they did almost a year and a half ago, they still dance in my belly and make me giddy with anticipation.  There is still that vibrant magic of joy, thrill, and wonder for each day - each step - in our journey together.  I just want to play with my Daddy, be with my Man, and feel my Owner's strong, quiet dominance.  Him.  Us.  Sweet harmony and peace.
~DominaKat

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

The Adaptation of D/s

This post has taken me weeks to finish...

Life over the last six months has brought about numerous changes.  External factors neither M nor I could control have demanded emotionally, mentally, and physically of each of us in ways neither of us could have expected.  That's life.  It's not always simple or easy or convenient.  But regardless of what it takes, we've both stepped up to the plate and taken care of those who needed us.

One of the pieces that has taken a dramatic hit is our D/s dynamic.  Oh make no mistake...I am still very much His submissive pet.  He is still my Owner.  The fundamental nature of our roles has not changed.  However, the practicalities of how we D/s-ly interact with one another has had to shift and adapt at various points along the way to accommodate our lives.  While He always leads and I of course gladly follow, the leash isn't always taut with expectation and imminent promise.  Thankfully there have been moments when we've been able to indulge actively in our shared darkness.  Those beautifully wicked moments help keep me balanced and remind me so clearly of all that we have to look forward to with one another.  However, some days there just hasn't been much room at all for our dark sides to even breathe.

I won't lie.  On occasion I've mourned the loss of our previous ferocity so deeply that I've wanted to scream in frustration and anger.  At times, I have cried.  I have sobbed brokenly.  My place at M's feet - my absolute submission to Him - is my ultimate sanctuary of inner peace and contentment.  Where at the end of a long, challenging day, I long to rest my soul and submission.  It fucking sucks when I can't get to that place, when I can't find my way to my knees, or when M doesn't have the mind space to hold my leash tight.

I don't write this to whine or bitch.  I write this because...M and I can't be the only kinksters who have faced, are facing, or will face this challenge at some point in their D/s dynamic.  Sometimes life just doesn't cooperate with our wants and needs.

Our external factors have cost us.  His.  Mine.  D/s begins and ends in our minds.  When our minds must focus on demanding issues at hand that run completely counter to our roles...the D/s foundation becomes less firm and tangible.  After all, it's really fucking difficult to indulge in my core submissiveness when I have to be strong and fierce as hell in the wake of another's chaos.  It's impossible to react on command like I used to when there's little time or energy for training and maintenance of those hot, intense, delicious D/s protocols.  We have had to adjust our preferred expectations to cope with the realities in front of us, so the unconscious habits I had adopted early in our relationship have faded for now to be replaced with efficiency and practicality.

Yes...I hate it.  I miss it.  I simply try my best to deal with what is and hope for what will someday be again.  For now, our D/s is on a very low burn with an occasional log tossed on the fire to help us both stay warm.

At times like this, other very significant pieces fill in the gaps.

Love:  We took our time.  Our love was built side by side with our D/s.  That love - that desire to help each other succeed and thrive - is paramount at times like these.  We encourage, nurture, and support each other as a Man and a woman, as a Dom and sub, as a Daddy and little girl, as an Owner and pet.  There may not be wicked, twisted naughtiness burning up the molecules between us...but there is a warm, giving, and generous love that surrounds us in warmth.  Daddy's hand in mine melts me.  A soft gentle touch from my Owner heals me.  My Man's faith and belief in me keeps me strong.

Leadership, respect and strength:  I may not be on my knees doing...well let's just skip that part shall we?  lol  But M is still my Owner no matter whether I'm naked and tied up or I am juggling a set of life's heavy boulders.  When He speaks, I listen and obey.  He also didn't respect me simply because I learned how to say "Yes, Sir" properly or take a beating like a good $2 whore.  lol  No, He respects all of me, not simply my dirty submissive talents.  Recently, M had to seriously intervene with me.  As my Owner, He sat me down and pointed out what He saw in me and what He wanted.  My external factors were beginning to cost me in ways I'd only just begun to recognize.  I, of course, took His words to heart and have done my best to take care of myself like He expects.  I trust Him completely and didn't get defensive or push His constructive criticism away.  I saw the truth and have done everything I could to make course corrections.  I'm still making changes. This isn't a one-sided effort either.  Months before, I had shared similar concerns for my Owner.  The respect He had for me was the foundation that allowed that conversation to occur and my feedback to be heard.  This is what should happen between a loving couple when the path we tread gets rocky.  We hang on tight, work together, and pull together to get through.

Nope...for those few that are looking for a dynamic that is deep and meaningful, it isn't always fun and games or orgasms and pleasure.  Sometimes it's about courage, faith, and hard work and the effort and intention that goes into those three things will only make the sweet times that much sweeter and the dark, delicious moments that much more sinful.

Let your D/s adapt to the circumstances and needs.  Fighting it will only make the journey more difficult.  Be courageous.  Have faith.  Work together.
~DominaKat

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

M

I love that Man. Pure and simple and unquestionably. M's faith in me makes me stronger. His support lifts me up to reach for the stars. His love wraps around me and holds me tight. 

He moves me. 

I am grateful for every day He is in my life as my Owner, my Daddy, my Man, and my Love.  
~DominaKat

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Clean Up

Cleaning up my friends list on fet over the next few days.  My feed has become irrelevant and uninspiring.  In fact, a lot more than that has become irrelevant and uninspiring.  It's time I get back to the basics before I walk away completely.  But as I go through this...cleansing, a few thoughts.

I'm not impressed with...

  • Dick pics.  ~yawn~  So fucking what.  I can find something bigger to try to shove up in me if size was the key.  What can you do with my mind?  Do you have an imagination?  Do you even have a clue that this is about more than sex?  
  • 300+ friends.  Really?  Is that all you do is friend everyone?  So quantity is more important than quality.  Hmmmm...I'm pretty much a substance kinda girl.  Looking for it in anyone who I include in my circle.
  • Porn-addicts.  Dude...if the only thing you do is search for more pictures of tits and ass to love and beat off to every night, you really need a life and a swift kick in the ass.  Good god, you must be a total bore to converse with.  No one ever been my friend let alone allowed to touch me without having something to talk about.
  • Manwhores.  Yeah...A.D.D. when it comes to relationships is a waste of time.  I'm not into being on any one's long list of friends, text buddies, IM buddies, or lovers.  I'm worth way more than that time of carelessness.
  • Domwannabes.  Rough sex does not make you a dom nor does it really even make you kinky.  It puts you on the extreme side of vanilla.  Don't pretend and try to convince us your anything more than what you are.  If you want to be respected as a Dom/Master...learn, grow, evolve.  Sitting there doing nothing while pounding on your chest saying you're to be respected?  lol  Very uninspiring.
  • Liars & Cheaters.  Seriously...if you can't be honest, there's no point.  I have zero tolerance for games, drama, lies, and bullshit.
  • Dramawhores.  Ummmm...you create your own energy.  Go watch a soap opera and stay as far away from me as possible.  I tend to get vicious and violent when drama gets blown my way.
  • Capt. Save-A-Hoe Types.  I'm not a ho' that needs saving.  I"m a woman that wants a partner in life.  I've had my fill of men whining about how woman treat them when half the problem is they either stay or keep picking the same type.  If history keeps repeating itself, maybe you should try something different.
  • Silent Lurkers.  Nothing to say?  Nothing to contribute?  No questions?  Comments?  Curiosities?  You want to be a Dom/Master/Owner but you can't even speak on the lifestyle, the concepts, the framework?  Huh...I suppose a sub is just suppose to immediately respond to your self appointed title?  lol  A little advice...respect is earned.
  • Stalkers.  Ummmm...so is it jealousy?  Is it a game?  Or are you just so easily entertained?  Does your stomach ever heave when you pry and snoop?  Do you enjoy your anonymity and being lost in the shadows?  Come on...stop playing hide and seek.  Either run along or stand up and be about something.
  • I Want What's Yours.  ~sigh~  Really?  So being respectful is essentially a lost art these days.  Yes, I know you're there.  lol  I'm not a fool.  I understand you can't find your own.  Try to take the shortcut.  Such a messy, ugly place to begin, but hey that says what about you?  And if I lose... well, honestly it's best if we all find that out now, don't ya think? 
  • Fuck & Pass.  Hmmmmm...So tell me.  Does that make you feel better about yourself?  Huh.  Interesting.  And not the good kind of interesting either.  Maybe you should talk to someone.  The professional kind.
  • Smoke & Mirrors.  Multiple profiles.  Multiple sites.  Multiple personalities, games, and bullshit.  Wtf?!?  Are you still 12 and hiding from your mom?  Really?  If you can't man up and be you, then why would you deserve even a minute of my time?  Grow up.  Man up.  Own it.  Or embrace forever being a little coward sneaking off from one place to another for attention.  Trust me...you'll never find you self worth with the smoke and mirrors strategy.  
Yes...His soft, sweet lil pet has her claws out tonight.  Oh look...they are still as sharp as they've always been.  ;-P  My kindness, patience, and tolerance only go so far.
~DominaKat

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Beaten

Fuck.  He'd never so thoroughly destroyed me.  

When He clasped the back of my neck, I almost dropped everything in my hands.  Lust swam through my viens and made me dizzy with need.  His orders were simple and to the point.

Stripped.  Naked.  Obedient.  My hands against the wall.  My ass arched to receive.  He harshly grabbed and kneaded my heavy breasts.  He pinched my nipples until I whimpered at the hot pain that lanced my mind.  He would not be gentle tonight.  He would not be easy.  I didn't want either.  I needed His darkness.

My legs spread.  My cunt beginning to drip.  He raked His long fingers through my heavy folds and plunged into His fuckhole.  His.  Completely fucking His.  I no longer could find the pleasure I once knew in myself.  My cunt was His property and responded only to Him.  As His fingers dug inside me my body responded to its Owner's demand.  Slick wet heat that I could no longer inspire when I touched myself flowed effortlessly for Him.  It lubricated my hole and coated His probing fingers.  He forced me to my first orgasm.  Demanded it.  My body gave.

I wonder how he felt knowing only He could inspire such lust and need?  Did it please Him how well fucking trained I was?  Did my body's instinctual response sate some dark primitive need in His soul?

With my first minor orgasm out of the way, He moved on to the main course.  I didn't know what He had planned.  I never do.  I simply hold on and follow His lead.  That night, He unleashed on me a blessed torrent of sweet dark pain that seemed endless.  He gave me no mercy and intentionally drove me with a relentlessness I wasn't expecting.  I don't remember the order He used His tools.  I don't remember how long.  I simply endured the beautiful misery that only a sadist and masochist can understand.

He beat me.  My ass.  My thighs.  My back.  Again and again.  The flogger licked my skin in hot vicious bites.  That fucking spatula broke across my body in a burst of fire.  His belt wailed across me.  His firm hand pounded at me.  I held still obediently.  I naughtily shied away from some of the pain.  I was a greedy pet and arched higher, again and again begging with my fat ass for more of His dark cruelty.  I was a damn mess bouncing between controlled submission and unrestrained fear and need of more.  I didn't know from one moment to the next what was coming or how I would respond.  I surrendered to the feeling of being wanted.  I gave in to our darkness.

How did it feel to unleash on me?  What did He think as His pet whimpered and cried out?  What did He feel as He watched me jump away from the pain and then helplessly seek out more?  What must He feel to know how fucking much I needed Him?

And I came.  I don't remember when or how often.  He drove into me intermittently and crudely forced His meat to take His entry.  All I do clearly remember is the repetitive sound of my gushing releases pouring onto the floor and pooling between my spread feet.  At times simply the overwhelming pleasure of pain pushed me over the edge.  Other times it was the intimacy and pressure of Him in my hole where I could not in any way hide my desire.  My thighs were splashed with my juice as I bent my knees and ground out my hot lust like a dog.  The streams of cum seemed endless.  I vaguely remember His dark satisfaction that I came for Him like a fucking slut.  I was humiliated to be so transparent.  I also didn't give a fuck.  I just wanted more.  More.  More.

Of Him.  Of This.  Of Us.

He gave.  The pain.  The pleasure.  I took.  I would have stood there forever and devoured ever drop of darkness He fed me.  He knew before I did where He was taking me.  Closer and closer He moved toward me even as He continued to torment me.  He was at my side.  The beating became more intimate.  Soon He was holding me up as He wrung the last cries of sweet pain from His exhausted pet.  I shook viciously.  The sheer relief in my soul broke me, and I clung to Him as tears streamed down my face.

Did He understand how much I loved and trusted Him?  Did He see how very vulnerable and helpless I am to Him?  Did He know that only He sates my mind, body, and soul?

All that happened after...I can not bring myself to share.  Those moments are too intimate, too sweet, too private.  He did things no one had ever done or even thought to do.  The tenderness and loving care He gave me that night will forever be a part of my soul that I will never relinquish.

Every moment I share with M, he ruins me further.  Our light.  Our dark.  Those beautiful strands surround and protect us.  They bind us together, and together we find our harmony.
~DominaKat

I am a Whore.

Yes.  That's right.  I am a whore.  A monogamous whore but a whore nonetheless.  For my Man, my Daddy, my Owner I will and have performed, received, and contemplated sexual acts that most in the world would consider sinful or downright sick and twisted.  Instead I've gloried in their delightful humiliation and unique masochistic reward.

I can't even claim to be a classy whore.  No.  The classy woman disappears completely when He frees my inner insatiable beast.  That wild, untamed-but-for-Him monster is an animalistic gutterslut that opens her mouth and spreads her legs with eager, wanton abandon.

Fuck me.  Use me.  Hurt me.  Tame your filthy bitch.

When He purposefully removes His calm, cool, and collected mask and lets His passion for me rage, I know no greater joy and fulfillment.  I dance with His Beast like I was born only for His pleasure.  He pushes me further and further every time we indulge in our darkness.  He strips me down to my whorish essence and plunders at will.

Under Him.  Beneath Him.  Pleasing Him.  Serving Him.  

I crave Him like lungs seek air.  To feel Him somewhere - anywhere - inside me is to experience a freedom I've never known and to feel so thoroughly alive that I can barely stand at the flood of sensations.  As His tongue possesses my mouth, I tremble.  As His hand shoves deep into my greedy fuckhole, I pant in mindless pleas.  As His hard Black Dick rips into my tight puckered asshole, I howl in feral bliss.

His victim.  His meat.  His toy.  His whore.

As His handcropbeltflogger tears into my flesh, I succumb so absolutely that HeThisNow is all that exists in my world.  The pain that He incites leaves me helpless.  To sate His sadistic needs is my ultimate quest.  As I am held down so forcefully, I find a blessed peace at belonging so completely to Him.  To be at His mercy and know He is my only savior.  As I obey and fall to my knees to accept Him in ways I've never dreamed nor dared, I am everything and nothing.  His goddesswhore.  I do not fight my fate, my dark cruel destiny.  I embrace it, bask in it, become all He leads me to be.

For Him.  With Him.  As His.

Our journey ahead stretches across dark seas I have yet to even consider, yet I know of no other future that this one with Him.  In Him, I have found where I belong.  He has given me my place and purpose.

Owned.  On His leash.  At His feet.  I am home.
~DominaKat