Lucky Girl

Browsing Fet this evening and found myself completely uninspired.  To some extent I know it's my mood...the day...missing M...a combination of everything.  But as I hopped around, the surface factor rubbed against me harshly.  So many boys are running around who treat their play partners as carelessly as rides at Disney World.  Giddy with glee to have conquered one.  Maybe they like it enough to take another spin, or maybe they dash off to the next new ride.  ~eye roll~  Now make no mistake...I'm not at ALL referring to age.  I've seen 20 year olds more grounded than some men in their late 40's.  lol

But all of that silliness made me pause and reflect on M.  I'm a very lucky girl to have someone that truly cares for me and nurtures so many different pieces of me.  In my past, most have intentionally brought out the worst.  However, M deliberately got to know me, and as my Dom he brings out the best in me.  I've never for a second felt like I was a momentary diversion or temporary entertainment.  I've never felt like I was simply a check mark off a list.  Quite the contrary, I've felt like ever action, word, and deed was a deliberate act to, with and for me and to build our relationship - not just a careless bit of something he's thrown at countless others.  Whether that is intentional or not, I don't really know, but it makes me feel valuable to him, that I matter, that He sees me.

I realized today that somewhere along the way M has gently applied healing salve to so many of my wounds.  No...they aren't all healed.  Some may unfortunately take a long, long time.  But they no longer bleed nor ache.  With Him, I don't limp as much.  I no longer feel like the female pieces of me are broken.  Words can't even come close to explaining how deeply this realization hit me.  I just know that I love him for all that he has given me and for everything he does.  He's changed me.  For the better.

While I realize we are still in the early stages of our journey together, he's already taught me so much about myself and of the intimate beauty possible in BDSM.  It wasn't simply a fanciful dream I had.  It was possible.  I was simply waiting for him to enter my life.  He couldn't have come at a better time.  I was finally ready for him.

Okay...maybe "ready" is reaching a little.  Hehehe  He is constantly pushing me to places I've never even considered.  I may not know exactly where he's leading me, but I never regret where he takes me.  ;-)
~DominaKat