The Other Half of the Equation

The last few months have been incredibly insightful.  Sorting through a shit ton of realizations lately.  Maybe I had a faint clue to some of them, but things are becoming clearer.  I'm finally to the point where I understand enough of the details of me to start stepping back and gain some perspective of the bigger picture. A few of the details...

• Being forced works for me on a fundamental level.  I feel wanted and craved.
• I seek for some level of pain.  I don't yet understand how deep or wide that well runs.  I simply understand that I've only scratched the fucking surface.
• I need some type of mental/emotional conflict...pain...verbal humiliation or acts of.  It calls to the dark side of me...the very dark side.
• I ache to be owned - to belong to a man as his most valued and treasured asset.  Not one of a fucking collection.  The One for him.  His One.

So....you take all of that, take a step back, and consider...  

Masochism:  Sexual excitement and pleasure produced by experiencing pain and humiliation.  Humiliation - the process of degrading or depreciating the pride, dignity, or self respect of the submissive to establish sexual power through emotional and/or psychological means - is the psychological counterpart to physical pain.

Huh.  So...that truly makes me a masochistic bitch in need of a sadistic master.

I can't lie.  Four months ago I didn't relate to sadist or masochist.  They seemed too extreme.  If M wasn't M, then I probably would have run in the complete opposite direction.  But here I am.  I look inside me, and I know what I see.

I'm the M in the S&M equation.

I'm a twisted bitch in need of darkness.

I'm my sadist's fucking playground.  ;-)

Ummmm...M...

Tag!  You're it!!!  Hehehehe ;-)
~DominaKat