As a child, I was never a passive, mewing little lamb. I did try that role once. No...it wasn't that cute or sweet. Just that fucking helpless. I was simply a beaten dog kicked into a corner numb and broken. But I came back from that ugliness. I found myself again, tapping back into my natural DNA. Those inherent traits, life's experiences, and Sensei's fight training have re-made me once again into the strong, powerful lioness I was always meant to be. I'm once again able to run, hunt, play, be, and defend myself.
However, I'm also no longer the hissing, vicious lioness trapped in another's cruel vortex of chaos, games, and deceit. I won't let my instincts fly and punish with a swipe my claws or relish the taste of blood in my mouth. While I held my ground against that insanity filled with endless jabs, that's not how I want to live. I never doubted my clarity. I saw through it, even when I momentarily chose to close my eyes. However, I won't let that experience define everything I am either. No, that's just another place I will never willingly go again.
Today...right now...I'm not even in same hemisphere as either of those places. I'm so far out of my fucking element I'm not always sure what to do. There's a sense of blessed peace here I've never experienced. There's no drama. There's no hostility. There's no ridicule or criticism. Maybe it's like a solider suddenly and unexpectedly come back to civilization after months...no, years of patrols and always looking for a sniper in the eves or waiting for the next car bomb to send him sprawling to the ground scrapped and bleeding from shrapnel. I want to believe and absorb all of it's wonder and beauty, but protective instincts keep me ready to respond to the slightest shift in the air. The longer nothing happens, the more I want to stay here and never leave. The more I crave expanding my roots, the tenser I've become.
But I'm not alone. I'm walking through this beautiful, lush and erotic refuge with the one I've grown to trust and believe in. He brought me here. He plucked me from the lonely streets I guarded. He shows me what it's like to be safe and accepted. His extraordinary patience in me is endless. He reassures me. He guides me. "Relax, babygirl." "Shhhhh...stop. Don't think. Just feel." When I get twisted up, he pins me down and pushes until I face the truth. He knows. He already fucking knows.
With him, my Warrior has found a worthy champion. One who matches her passion, challenges her intellect, and earned her trust. He uses her strength to his advantage and demand. He is proud of her - of me. She lays down next to him unarmed and let's him sate her every nasty desire. She kneels for him and submits voraciously to his dark side. My Warrior is My Dom's Whore.
With him, my Little Girl has found shelter, safety, peace. One who will guard her, coax her, and let her play in his light. He encourages her to reach for more to be everything she can. He eases her bruises and holds her tightly to him. He wipes her tears. Always careful. Always there. But he won't let her hide or push back. Swiftly he corrects her with such gentle and firm strength that she is - that I am - unable to resist. In his arms she finds what she's always craved, all the tenderness and joy she can bare. In his lap, he pleasures and seduces the sweet innocence of me that no one has every touched. My Little Girl is My Daddy's Babygirl.
With him, the woman in me has found a Man she can be proud of by her side. One who mirrors her spirit, her mind, her passion, her laughter, her loyalty, her integrity. He accepts all that I am without hesitation. I can relate to his inflexibilities. I can understand his frustrations. I can empathize with his sorrows. I crave his smile and every good thing imaginable for him. I want him as a woman wants a man. Two lovers lost in one another in all ways. My greatest fear is failing him and this. The only thing that conquers my fear is his belief in me. He tempts me to hope and overwhelms me in how clearly he sees me. The Woman I am is simply His.
I belong to Him. I can't always make this all make sense in my head. I drive myself crazy sometimes trying. But it feels right in my heart. There is still much to discover and understand between us both. We each have our struggles. We each have our baggage. We are both simple and complicated, strong and vulnerable. He'll ruin me for any other. It's his promise to me. And I have every intention of ruining him. Our journey together has only really just begun, but I have no doubt that it's where we both were always meant to be.
And with all that, but mostly with his encouragement and wisdom, I've rearranged the pieces of me. I'm no longer struggling and afraid. There's a quiet peace in me for him. I know where I am. It's simple really. I place my trust in him. My hand is in his. He'll lead me, and I will follow.
~K.
Today...right now...I'm not even in same hemisphere as either of those places. I'm so far out of my fucking element I'm not always sure what to do. There's a sense of blessed peace here I've never experienced. There's no drama. There's no hostility. There's no ridicule or criticism. Maybe it's like a solider suddenly and unexpectedly come back to civilization after months...no, years of patrols and always looking for a sniper in the eves or waiting for the next car bomb to send him sprawling to the ground scrapped and bleeding from shrapnel. I want to believe and absorb all of it's wonder and beauty, but protective instincts keep me ready to respond to the slightest shift in the air. The longer nothing happens, the more I want to stay here and never leave. The more I crave expanding my roots, the tenser I've become.
But I'm not alone. I'm walking through this beautiful, lush and erotic refuge with the one I've grown to trust and believe in. He brought me here. He plucked me from the lonely streets I guarded. He shows me what it's like to be safe and accepted. His extraordinary patience in me is endless. He reassures me. He guides me. "Relax, babygirl." "Shhhhh...stop. Don't think. Just feel." When I get twisted up, he pins me down and pushes until I face the truth. He knows. He already fucking knows.
With him, my Warrior has found a worthy champion. One who matches her passion, challenges her intellect, and earned her trust. He uses her strength to his advantage and demand. He is proud of her - of me. She lays down next to him unarmed and let's him sate her every nasty desire. She kneels for him and submits voraciously to his dark side. My Warrior is My Dom's Whore.
With him, my Little Girl has found shelter, safety, peace. One who will guard her, coax her, and let her play in his light. He encourages her to reach for more to be everything she can. He eases her bruises and holds her tightly to him. He wipes her tears. Always careful. Always there. But he won't let her hide or push back. Swiftly he corrects her with such gentle and firm strength that she is - that I am - unable to resist. In his arms she finds what she's always craved, all the tenderness and joy she can bare. In his lap, he pleasures and seduces the sweet innocence of me that no one has every touched. My Little Girl is My Daddy's Babygirl.
With him, the woman in me has found a Man she can be proud of by her side. One who mirrors her spirit, her mind, her passion, her laughter, her loyalty, her integrity. He accepts all that I am without hesitation. I can relate to his inflexibilities. I can understand his frustrations. I can empathize with his sorrows. I crave his smile and every good thing imaginable for him. I want him as a woman wants a man. Two lovers lost in one another in all ways. My greatest fear is failing him and this. The only thing that conquers my fear is his belief in me. He tempts me to hope and overwhelms me in how clearly he sees me. The Woman I am is simply His.
I belong to Him. I can't always make this all make sense in my head. I drive myself crazy sometimes trying. But it feels right in my heart. There is still much to discover and understand between us both. We each have our struggles. We each have our baggage. We are both simple and complicated, strong and vulnerable. He'll ruin me for any other. It's his promise to me. And I have every intention of ruining him. Our journey together has only really just begun, but I have no doubt that it's where we both were always meant to be.
And with all that, but mostly with his encouragement and wisdom, I've rearranged the pieces of me. I'm no longer struggling and afraid. There's a quiet peace in me for him. I know where I am. It's simple really. I place my trust in him. My hand is in his. He'll lead me, and I will follow.
~K.
No comments:
Post a Comment