Absolute Resolution

I can't find sleep just yet even though it's 2:42 a.m.  M's words from earlier today echo in my head and leave me stunned.  I didn't expect them.  I didn't expect how hard he embraced...us and our future together.  It's not that we don't talk about what will be.  We do.  Often.  Damn near daily. But the unprompted passion of His words and His absolute resolution of ALL that we will have together brought tears to my eyes.  God, I love that Man.

I believe in Him and in us so damn much it scares me sometimes.  All my eggs are in His basket.  All my chips are in His hands.  My hand has been in His for two years now.  I've followed His lead.  When I've stumbled He's helped me get off my knees and healed my wounds.  When He's stumbled I've been right there waiting for Him to find His footing and take us where we should go.  I believe in Him and All that we could be, build, and achieve.

But you see...it's not simply the big grand dreams that I'm committing to.  It's the hard stuff as well.  Too often people are all too ready to jump in for the "happily ever after" fantasy.  But for me...I knew just how much I loved that man, when I could see us old and a lot tired and a little broken, slow, and maybe dotty and still holding hands...still loving each other as much if not more than when we first met.  Being there for the good stuff is easy.  I want to be there for M for the hard stuff too, not just the fun and games and greatness.  I want to be at the doctor's office with him when we're in our 70's.  I want to share dentures and leakage protection and wrinkles and canes and prescription runs.

I want...to be the one...His one...that holds His hand...that holds Him close...when He takes that last breath 40 years from now at 85.  I want Him to know in the last moments how much every moment of our life together meant to me and make sure that He was never alone...that His pet was always by His side...that He was loved absolutely and unquestionably since we found each other two years ago.  I want 40 years of ups and downs and good and bad.

I've never loved like this...ocean deep.  I've never submitted to anyone or anything so fucking completely in my life.  Yes...I believe in Him and Our Future.  Every word I say, every breath I breathe, every action I take is all towards our goals and our tomorrows.  Because I want more than anything in the world to be 80-some years old with that beautiful Man who has stolen my heart and given me His.

~DominaKat