Blind Faith

Sometimes this thing that we do is not easy or clear or logical.  Sometimes I have to close my eyes to the world around me and in blind faith hope that M won't shatter my soul beyond repair.

I understood long ago that this was a once in a lifetime chance.  And I reached deep down into me and found the courage I needed. Because for once, I'd found a Man worthy of all that I am.  For once, I'd found a Man who didn't sit on the sideline and promise me bullshit while He fell victim to His ego, childish emotions, or His throbbing dick.  For once, I'd found a Man who promised again and again to never let me go.

I chose M, and I gave Him the power to destroy me when I ripped open every vulnerable crevice I had created over the last twenty-some years and made rubble of the high cliffs where I had long stood guarding my heart and soul.  For Him, I left myself no where to hide and no position of strength.  I stood in front of Him, laid my weapons at His feet, and shed every bit of my armor.  I was and continue to be utterly defenseless.

Most of the time I bask in my submission to Him.  I believe with everything I am in what He has chosen to build with me and in the potential we have together.  I want with all that I am to be there as His pet for the next the twenty or thirty years, to still stand in awe of Him when He's sixty-five and still spitting fire and weaving tales, and to be His soft spot when His bones ache and His body takes its last breath.  Once I let Him have my full heart, there was no going back for me ever.

Yet there are days when I am terrified, when dark storms brew and then crash unceasingly at the most vulnerable unprotected pieces of my soul.  In those days, I have to close my eyes and in blind faith hope, pray, and beg that M will love and protect me and that He meant every word and promise He has ever said to me.  That's when I submit at my deepest, my most humble, at my most vulnerable levels to Him and His actions.  In blind faith.  In those days, His Dominance is complete.  Only His strength, will, and control can save me and keep His pet safe.  Everything that I am is at His feet.
~DominaKat