M and I both left another set of rules behind today. Huh. That transformation thing again. lol
There was no drama. No angst. Maybe a little individual discomfort, but for the most part, it just made sense and seemed natural. That's what made me pause and consider tonight.
For the right One at the right time...rules are broken. One after another after another. Each one seemingly easier than that last. The boundaries and restrictions that we wrapped around ourselves in a protective cocoon to keep everything orderly and potential chaos at bay start to feel clumsy and unnecessary. Instead of shielding us, they begin to strangle the potential we have as individuals and as a couple. With honesty, trust, and yeah...faith and hope, we let go. Of the habits that hold us back. Of the pieces of fear we drag behind us. So that we can find all we possibly can in Our tomorrow.
I don't know if when M first mentioned transformation to me that He expected all of this. I know I didn't. At the time, I was still rediscovering basic hope again. I was still focused in the moment, not thinking much of tomorrows. He knew even then, that I'd never be the same again. I wonder if He expected to change as part of journey as well.
I think back on the woman I was 10 years ago. How hard I fought to find me again. How much courage I'd found once I let my warrior free to be strong. How sure I was that I'd never find another Man who could touch my soul. How very alone I was.
Despite 40 years of practice, I am still discovering all I am capable of and all I could be. The rules I put in place long ago, have been tossed aside because I chose the risky path of love and growth. The thrill is heady. The growing pains sometimes brutal. But every time I stop and look around, I find myself better than I was. I couldn't have gotten this far without M in my life over the last year. His patience, his intelligence, his strength have all open doors for me that I thought were long shuttered.
But I suppose that is the power of love and trust. Together those two rare and precious gems can accomplish tremendous things. Even get me to break my rules. :-)