I woke up. Looked at my phone. 7:35. Fuck...I had to be to work at 8. I flew out of bed on autopilot and into the bathroom to make some semblance out of myself before I took off out of the house. Pee. Wash face. Brush...
My only cognizant thought was...
"I didn't text M. I didn't text him first thing like I'm suppose to. I didn't...." It was screaming at me in a loop how I'd failed. I wasn't afraid of punishment....I simply mourned...I'd broken my ritual. My protocol. My...no matter what...I reach for my Owner and Daddy first thing. My failure hurt me so deeply. I wanted to sob.
I didn't have time.
I dried my hands and stumbled still on autopilot back to the bed to grab my phone.
I clicked the text icon....
At 6:17 AM...an hour and a half earlier was
"Good morning Daddy."
At 7:35 am was His ever reassuring response that connect me to Him.
A sigh rushed out of me. A half-hearted chuckle of relief. A wide-eyed daze of wonder. A tear snuck out from under my lashes as I sat absorbing what was in front of me.
I don't remember texting Him, but I did, even half asleep or still asleep. I reached for M like I've done every damn day for more than a year. That gave me a sense of peace and rightness. I laughed a little at how well trained His pet is.
My protocol was unbroken. I was content and reassured. All was right with my world.
He is my beginning and end, even unconsciously.
I am forever and always His.