My BDSM Fairy Tale

Since I was a child, I've been extremely careful about who I let into my life and who I let truly see me.  When I made my first steps in my journey, I quickly realized how extremely intimate D/s is and how vulnerable I would be.  Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.  I'm not a surface player that simply rides the momentary high of physical sensation.  In order for me to satisfy the cravings and needs I have, I must go deep with someone.  Very deep.

The depth of my physical, mental, and emotional desires aren't for the casual or the frivolous.  They aren't for someone more interested in sprints and notches on bedposts.  They aren't for non-committal internet doms content to play on the other end of the phone line or a web cam.  They aren't for manwhores that spend more time and energy on endless chases than on one ultimate prize.  I'm very aware that my self-imposed...rules alienate me from a majority of the BDSM world.  Most don't understand me or why I take things so seriously, and their recklessness and carelessness often times mystifies me.  From the beginning my goal, which I pretty much believed was unattainable, was to find someone who shared a similar view on the intimacies of BDSM.  Because if he was careless in who he choose, how could I possibly be of any value?

For me...

I have to know that the Man who calls me a slut, a whore, or a fucktoy values all of me not just the tricks I can and will perform in the bedroom.

I have to know that the Man who rips orgasms from my body will touch more than my skin but my mind and heart as well.

I have to know that the Man who wraps His hand around my throat and lays his hands violently on me understands it takes more than physicality to tame me and that my safety is of the utmost importance to Him.

I have to trust that the Man who weilds that crop/flogger/paddle will see past the pretty red marks and be able to manipulate my passion with confidence, consideration, and hunger.

I have to trust that the Man who blesses me with sweet dark pain will treasure and honor my tears and pleas and not abandon me carelessly.

I have to trust that the Man who humiliates me and pushes me to madness will be my Anchor and guide me safely back to the warmth and comfort of His arms.

I have to believe with all that I am that the Man who demands my submission is One I can honor, respect, and count on to lead me on this journey. 

I have to believe with all that I am that the Man who commands me to lie helpless at His feet truly wants all of me and not simply a moment of me.

I have to believe with all that I am that the Man who claims my soul values that gift above all others and that I am the only one He craves to Own.

Maybe deep down inside I really am just a silly little girl looking for fairy tales and bedtime stories after all of these years.  ~shrug~  But for more than a decade now, I promised myself never again to settle for less than I deserve.  I'd rather go to bed alone at night waiting on a dream than die of thirst trying to drink from a mirage.

If you're shaking your head in confusion...trust me, save us both the annoyance.  Go back to your perving and masturbation session to skin pics, dirty IM's, and live web cams.  I will never make any sense to you, which is more than okay with me.
~DominaKat