A bit of a rant, but I'm about tired of the righteous poly parade. ~eye roll~ Please note that for the purpose of this post I am defining poly as multiple relationships rather and not including swinging.
Nope. I'm not cool. Not at all. I'm NOT poly. Not in any way, shape, or form. That's not how I work emotionally, mentally, or physically. I am monogamous. ~GASP~ There I've said it.
I've seen the forum posts. I've seen the lovely sets of poly rules everyone is listing out and loving all over Fet. What the fuck ever. Know yourself, be honest, communicate...blah, blah, blah. Ummmm...hello...That's the SAME for ANY relationship. Why the fanatic poly-practicers get to jump up and down waving their honesty flag doesn't make a damn bit of sense to me. That shit is common sense you should have learned in elementary school, so news flash to the poly parade...you aren't the ONLY people in the world to be honest and open. ~sigh~
Don't get me wrong. I get why poly and open relationships happen/evolve. I can see how - if you can get everyone to play by the rules - it can be an amazing dynamic. I know some amazing people who are genuinely polyamorous. My hat's off to them and their challenges. However, I also know some that are just liars and selfish children going I want, I want, I want. Those types give poly a bad name and everyone around them a headache. I don't enjoy headaches.
But back to me being not cool...
Before I start getting hate mail, let me just say I have been in both a poly and open situations. Yet even then the poly and open tended to be emphasized or limited to my partner's side. And yes, I managed actually pretty well when things followed the basic rules of open and honesty. I'm a strong woman. However, sharing my body, mind, and soul with multiple partners is not where or how I thrive. Personally, even as a single woman I don't even enjoy several simultaneous relationships because to me it's just too much damn upkeep. How can this be?!? Well, I don't have the need to fracture myself into multiple pieces in order to have a complicated laundry list of personal needs met. I'm also not an attention whore, nor do I need relationships with multiple people in order to know my place in the world and feel validated. I'm simple. There. I said THAT too.
I need one Man. That's it. I don't need two. I don't need two guys and a girl. One is quite enough for me, but ONLY if he's the right Man. Of course, I do mean the right Man for me. I don't need three broken dudes and two needy girls in order to satisfy me completely and find peace and love in the world.
I need one Man to nurture me, cherish me, hold me, fuck me, love me.
I need one Man to build together an emotional, mental, and physical relationship.
I need one Man to care for, stand by, be His soft spot, be His whore, be His love.
Do I realize this is RARE? FUCK YES! I am rare. lol That isn't a problem for me. Few men or women can be monogamous. But love is rare as well. The social norm isn't love but like, which can only bring satisfaction with a lot of other like with others. I'd rather be alone than settle for just like because I am okay with being alone. ~another gasp~ What a concept, huh?
I'll say it again. I only want and need ONE man. I am NATURALLY at my best when I have a narrow focus as His slave, pet, babygirl. And yes...M is the right man for me. I didn't have a indoctrinated religious background. I'm not a brain washed, moral conservative. And trust me...I've never been swayed by social norms. lol
I am simply at my best when I can give the man I love my undivided loyalty, emotions, service, trust, body, etc, etc, etc. It does not make sense to ME to split my attention between multiple partners and somehow be able to give them my best. How does that make sense if I LOVE them to give them less than all of me? How is that even possible? Yes...I know there are a shit ton of you out there waving your flags...it is! It is possible! But to ME...It would be like having 3 jobs. Do people pursue multiple careers in different fields and succeed? Not often and not with much success. So to me it doesn't make sense why pursuing multiple relationships and scattering my valuable efforts has any chance of satisfaction or success. At any given point one takes on the most urgency and the others suffer. It seems like never ending pointless cycle of constant failure or disappointment.
Not only do my partners suffer, but I simply don't enjoy multiple simultaneous partners. My own enjoyment is dampened in the chaos of this for him and that for her. By giving my all to One, I am at peace and centered. Well, let's be practical...most of the time anyway. lol When there is trust, I can open myself completely. There's a beautiful simple freedom in that act like I've never known. And THAT satisfies me more than any pieced together group of lots of liking. ~shrug~
So in closing...Your kink is NOT my kink, and you're no better than me or anyone else. So why don't you just do you and gracefully enjoy your own dynamic without calling for a parade or tossing judgement at us unnatural, must-be-brainwashed, monogamous throw backs. I really don't care what you do. I'm just tired of your kink being stuffed down my throat every time I'm in kinkland. Let the bashing begin! lol
~DominaKat
Great to see others "outing" themselves as uncool.
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