Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Difference

I've had sex hundreds of times.  Yet I've only truly fucked maybe a handful of lovers.  Yes, there is a difference.  At least for me.

Sex...purely physical.  Little if any intellectual or emotional connection.  Limited trust.  The typical vanilla playbook is the only option on the table.  I've had good sex, bad sex, horrible sex, and great sex.  But the high of sex is short-lived and temporary.  It's not enough for me.

A fuck is much more raw and intense.  Boundaries and inhibitions drop as my partner and I have established some level of trust between us.  The passion amped up whether through an intellectual or emotional connection.  Less restraint.  It's fire.  Elemental.  A battle.  A dance.  This is where all the kinky shit can be indulged in and explored.  Yum.  Yum.

I find much more satisfaction in a fuck.  I'm not sure I've had a bad fuck since usually we have to get past a certain point to get to this level of play.  I've had a great fuck or two or three...but I know I have only begun to climb the peak.

And finally...yes, I have made love.  Once upon a time when I could feel that depth of emotion, when I could give my heart and soul along with my body.  I don't believe I'm capable of sharing myself so completely now.  I can't imagine being able to drop every emotional guard I have to open up the inner most part of me.  Pure emotions lead the way and guide the physical and the intellect.  The strength of them - of loving and being in love with each other - driving the intensity.  Making love is one of the most beautiful and profound acts a couple can experience.

But I'm a bit of cynical bitch now, and I don't focus on chasing fairy tales.  The greedy whore that I am concentrates efforts in areas she can influence and/or control.   Though part of me does wonder if it's possible to fuck and make love at the same time.  Because someday...maybe if I'm really, really lucky...LOL

But that's just how I see things...
~A Kat Playing with the Puzzle in her Mind

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