End of the Day Reflection #1

To truly set something into my head, it's best if somehow writing is involved.  My words, the process of finding them, a the method of communicating them through writing lets me reinforce my energy and sort through the haze to find the most basic truths.  So...I'm going to try to take the time to reflect more intently on the little pieces of each day.

I have to live today focused on what I can give Him, how I can serve Him, and how I can help Us build Our tomorrow. 

What I gave Him today:

• His submissive...worked hard to focus her attention on a positive mindset, and I apologized almost immediately when my struggle got the best of me.  This helped us both be Our best today so that we are able to do whatever we can to build Our tomorrow.
• Alfred...gave another chapter of edits and suggested revisions/ideas; a top-notch graphic to promote His latest interview.  Both are pieces that will help build Our tomorrow.
• Alfred...shared with Him positive feedback from her small network. Good, strong, positive energy for us both.
• His woman...is pleasantly sore from working out to be as healthy and fit as I can for Him.  This will help me be better, stronger, faster in the long run so that I can do.
• His pet...scrabbled in her suitcase to find something pretty to wear for Him.  Hopefully that gave Him pleasure and made His day a little bit brighter.
• His property...continued to give up control and allowed Him to make decision about my habits.

I have to focus on what He gives me today and the steps forward He takes that lead Us toward Our tomorrow. 

What He gave me today:

• My Daddy sent me an adorable picture of himself that made me giggle and damn near bounce on my toes.  Okay...I think I actually did a little.  lol  ~sigh~ I love when He brings me joy. It helps me relax and bask in His sunshine.
• My Owner had His pet dress pretty for Him.  I felt desired and appreciated.
• My M shared with me another fascinating story idea, a great blog post to read, another round of edits for a chapter.  All steps to take Us into tomorrow, but those also give me pride in Him and feel honored that He values my opinion.
• My Man called a couple of times simply to share His excitement about something with His woman.  I am honored that He reaches for me first.  I feel treasured and cherished and important to Him.
• My Daddy teased and played with me.

Today we were moving in the right direction a little faster than usual. :-)

~DominaKat

Tomorrow

Some days are challenging in a relationship, and while I have my protocols and my own creed that I follow sometimes it is the approach I take that doesn't always work well.  I've learned many lesson by realizing what not to do and what I won't do again.  Maybe coming from somewhat of a negative perspective doesn't allow me to be as positive as I could be.

I have to live today focused on what I can give Him, how I can serve Him, and how I can help Us build Our tomorrow.

I have to focus on what He gives me today and the steps forward He takes that lead Us toward Our tomorrow.

No...I can not dwell on what He didn't give me then or the pain and fear I felt in those rocky dark days.
No...I should not stress about the mistakes I made.

Today I must concentrate on being the best partner, woman, submissive, pet, property I can be.

Everyday I must to continue to trust in Him, that He won't let me down, that He means what He says, and that He will do all He's promised to do with me.

I have to trust myself completely that I will never again let myself down for the sake of my partner.

Yesterday is not today.  Today is not Our future.  Our future together will be determined by each of the steps We take and by Our love, intention, honesty, trust, and loyalty to one another.  Those characteristics are the foundation of what We have today and what We build on now.

I will not let the few rocky times in Our past spoil would We could have tomorrow.
~DominaKat

Confession

There are days when the need to be a nasty, filthy slut is damn near all consuming.  I'm not talking mild slut.  I'm talking squirting down my thighs in public slut.  Cum-covered lips on the subway kind of slut.  Raising my dress and humping a fire-hyrdrant with my fat whorish tits hang out slut.  The kind of slut that leaves M grinning darkly tugging on my leash as old ladies cross their chest and men adjust their thickening cocks.

Yes...that's me this morning.  With the overwhelming need to spread my legs and be used in the most filthy vile ways.  Pain.  Pleasure.  ~sigh~ It makes no fucking difference.  My single point of existence in these moments is to be M's Black owned three-holed piece of thick white meat, to cum in groaning bliss, to harden a dick and make it throb with a need to conquer. 

I'm no saint.  lol  No.  Not at all.  Look elsewhere for that kind of sweet purity.  I'm sure that would be a delight to corrupt, but that's not me.  I'm well down the trail to hell.

No.

I. 

Am. 

A fucking wretched, sinning, crawling gutterslut who seeks complete subjugation and humiliation.

I need broken down and shattered with His mind.

I need to dance in frenzied madness by His hands.

I am a fuck-craving whore that needs beat and used until I'm a crumpled stained mess on the floor reeking of lust and destruction.  Even then I'd still spread my legs for more, just like a dog seeking a belly rub.  I beg for my holes to be affectionately and violently violated.  I pant for M.  I whimper.  I'll even bark if that will please Him.

But the day begins, and so I politely close my legs, wipe my mind clean of my pathetic salacious thoughts, and straighten my clothes to be respectable.  Smile pretty.  Be good.  Pretend I didn't start my day with my hand between my legs playing in His wet sloppy hole and thrashing on the bed.  

Ohhhh...look isn't that cute.  Puppy and kitten posts.  Uplifting quotes of the day.  Lovely. 

I return to the realities, tragedies, and games of my vanilla existence.

Smile...just smile...and fight the urge to squat on the ground to cum like a dog.

~DominaKat

The Brightest Star in My Sky

I've thought about writing this post every day for about the last two weeks.  Each time I thought...naaaa...anyone who's read my blog already knows this stuff.  It isn't something new or exciting.  But sitting here tonight reflecting, i can't help but put my thoughts to words and throw my emotions out into the ether.  My words will once again leave me completely vulnerable.  My heart exposed.  My deepest emotions unguarded.

But for M...it's worth it.  There's nothing I wouldn't do for my Owner.  There's nothing I wouldn't give to my Daddy.  There's nothing I wouldn't share freely with my Man.

I love Him.  I'm in love with Him.  There's never been any question about those two things.  But even with that deep, strong foundation I stand on each day, there are days when He literally blows me away and the love and pride I feel for Him leaves me stunned and speechless.

Twelve days ago, M reached for the sky yet again.  He took a big risk.  He laid it Himself on the line.  It was logical, but still that didn't negate the risk.  In that moment He was larger than life to me.  I was in awe.  And when he said to me, "Maybe this will be what gets you here to me." I nearly fell to my knees I was so humbled. I couldn't believe His eyes were also focused on me in this moment. It's still sometimes hard for me to believe He wants me as much as He does.  There's just not that many people in the world who truly reach for their dreams. There's few who truly do everything they can to build a future with the one they love.

I'd begun to believe those Men only lived in fairy tales.  I'd long ago lost hope of every being the one a Man fought to have and to keep.  But in M, I've found my hero.

Every day he has worked incredibly hard, harder than I ever imagined, to accomplish.  To do.  To achieve.  Again and again.  Relentlessly.  Every night I marveled at the magic He created and at all that He had done.  He exceeded every one of my expectations.  I'm so fucking proud of Him.  His intent, focus, and drive has been phenomenal.  He's gone deep.  He's been unwavering.  Where others would have slacked and become distracted or sought the surface satisfaction of fun and fresh and easy, M has fully embraced what we're building together and fought with everything He's had to bring our dreams to a reality.

It's not always easy.  Sometimes it's difficult even between us when we're working so hard on everything.  But neither of us for a moment considers giving up.  It's all so damn close.  And in each other we see the keys to everything we've ever hoped for.  We push each other to the limits.  We support each other when we stumble.  But most of all we never fucking give up.  We believe in each other.

~whimper~  Yes...there are tears streaming down my face.  I can't help them.  I'm not perfect.  I also know He's not perfect. (Yes...I really do live in reality. lol) But My Daddy, my Owner, my M...means the world to me.  The softest truest pieces of me lie helplessly at His feet.

I want so very very much to spend the rest of my life by His side doing everything I can to help Him reach into the stars for His place.  To curl up below Him, my leash tight in His hand, as He shines bright and true would be my greatest honor and privilege.   He. Is. My. King.  Yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  No matter what.  No matter where this all goes.  In my eyes He's always been the brightest star in the sky, and I will follow His light to my last breath.
~DominaKat

The Promises of My Submission

I promise to put You first in all things.

I promise to remember You are a Man before you are my Owner, my Dom, my Daddy.

I promise patience, understanding, and empathy.

I promise to nurture our dynamic just as You do.

I promise to be an active submissive partner.

I promise loyalty.
I promise straightforward honesty.

I promise to be as courageous and strong as I can be.
I promise to be as helpless and as vulnerable as I am able.

I promise to be the best I have in me.

I promise to take care of myself so that I may serve.
I promise to take care of You so that I may please.

I promise to use my mind and heart for our benefit.
I promise you access to my body in any way You desire.

I promise to open myself mentally, emotionally, and physically.

I promise to give all that I can.
I promise to take all that is offered and demanded.

I promise not to run when I hurt or am afraid.
I promise to fight for You in all things.

I promise to obey.

I promise to learn from my mistakes.
I promise to forgive Yours.

I promise to help build our potential.

I promise to contribute to our dreams.

I promise to believe in You, myself, and in us.
I promise to follow Your lead.

I promise my love.
~DominaKat

Him.

Goodbyes said. Tears slide. I feel naked without Him, like my warmth has been stripped from my soul. I want to turn around. I want to begin not go back. He melted my heart when he pointed to the screen and said "I pictured us." He made me weak when he pulled me to him and told me he loved me. He brought me to tears when he wrapped his arms around me and told me how very much he hoped that the steps we're taking bring me to Him. He inspired me to bow my head in submission when He laid His Dominance over me.

I can deny Him nothing. He holds the Masterkey to all that is me. With a touch of His hand He can bring me to my knees or make my heart soar. 

I am at my strongest with Him and my most vulnerable to Him. 

Peace. Harmony. Happiness. A few moments of those that I am ever grateful for as I turn around to wage war on the practicalities of my life so that our dreams can begin. 

I love Him. My M. My Daddy. My best friend.  And I fucking hate that i won't be there tonight for Him. To love Him. To share with Him. To simply breathe next to Him. 

Where Fate May Lead

~sigh~ on my way to my Daddy, NYC, and a job interview. Now that I'm firmly in my seat, I can breathe. I can't wait for my feet to hit the pavement and my arms to wrap around M. So much has happened in the last three months. We've accomplished so much!!! The foundation is laid. 

The future looks big and bright for us. All we need is to continue as we've been and hopefully find a lil bit of luck we can capitalize on. M is holding on so tight to my hand, and I'm following His lead. 

We can do this. We are doing this. It will happen for us. :-)

Reaching for dreams! 

~DominaKat